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Tuesday, November 15, 2005

S.A.D. ON A FULL MOON NIGHT

TUESDAY, Nov. 15
The weather has been so gloomy lately with only a few breaks of sunshine. I am not feeling myself, generally sad and maybe it's partly S.A.D. (Seasonal affective disorder) although it's probably just the state of things. I'm still overwhelmed by grief and often at unexpected moments. And for two weeks now my ears have been blocked and aching as a result of sleeping in my windowless bedroom for three nights during those cold rainy nights.
Yesterday I went to the doctor and insisted on some antibiotics. I'm hoping they will cure the problem as I'm tired of feeling like I'm under water and can't hear a thing.

It's been hard to concentrate on my writing. At most I just made a few notes. Last night I workshopped part of the new chapter and today I tried to start the revisions but didn't get much done. The afternoon was made pleasant by a visit from my friend Rosie and her sister and another friend. So we spent a few hours sipping wine and talking about travel, mainly a trip to Wales they plan to make (a destination I love as that's where my Dad was from.)

On my way from the bank today (my only excursion out -- and another reason for feeling depressed: the fact that I'm completely broke again!) I passed by A's apartment and it looks like it is empty now. When I was there Sunday afternoon they were hoping to get it all cleaned out and leave. I hope they remember to keep their promise to stay in touch. It's hard going by there, remembering those last three weeks. And I suppose the memory will stay with me for some time to come.

So, with more rain on the forecast, lots of new snow on the mountain, and cold weather I don't feel much like going out, but have to teach classes the next two evenings. This is the last week for my Memoirs and Prompting the Muse class. One more week and Travel Writing ends.
Then I'm unemployed til the end of January. I'll really have to try and get out of this slump and focus on my writing now I'll have lots of time and little excuse.

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