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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

DREAMING OF VENICE AND LOST LOVES

WEDNESDAY, Feb 28/07

It seems a little incongruous to be writing about exotic places and romance in the midst of my postings about the pig farm murders. But a little respite is necessary to provide a break from the darkness, like a ray of sunlight shining through storm clouds.

Lately I've been daydreaming about my trip to Venice. We're leaving mid-May to spend several days in that fascinating old city before heading by ferry to my second home, Greece. It's been fun watching videos and browsing through books about Venice, and planning what I want to see there. You can read some of my travel plans on my travel blog at
http://travelthroughhistory.blogspot.com

Recalling other lovely vacations I've had, I had been looking at some photos that were from my trips last summer. Some included my good friend Rosie when I visited her at Vernon, by the lake. Looking at the pictures prompted more happy daydreams of summertime and sunshine. And reminded me of how much I miss my friend.

That night I slept well and in my dreams I was visited by one of my lost loves, Hakki. It's been nearly 30 years since I last saw him. He was my Turkish lover who I spent a magical time with in Istanbul. I had met him here in Vancouver where he was in port on a ship he worked on as first engineer. We spent time together here and when he flew home to Turkey he'd invited me to visit him there. It was a beautiful romance. He was one of the most excellent men I've ever met in my life, and I will never forget him.

In the dream Hakki and I had a reunion in a large empty hall that sort of resembled the Sunday School hall of my dad's old church. In the dream he looked a bit different - his hair was longer and fairer. (He was a dark-haired man, olive complexion). It was a passionate reunion and even in my sleep I could feel the closeness of him, the great desire I always had for him. But just as we were about to be overcome by this erotic passion, a man (who seemed to be the pastor) came out of a room (like an office) and disrupted us. Later in the dream we were with other people who included my friend Rosie. We were watching a game of some kind (maybe soccer?) and he wanted to change places with the man next to him so he could see better, so he moved away from me. I remember feeling hurt, but realized he wasn't 'rejecting' me but just trying to enjoy the game. In the last part of the dream he was in bed asleep and I was sitting beside him gazing at him (he was such a lovely man!). I whispered something to him. He opened his eyes sleepily and smiled at me. End of dream. I woke feeling as if we had really spent time together and that warm, happy feeling stayed with me all day.

Later that evening, when I got home from my classes, there was a phone message from Rosie. I haven't seen her for several months and when I had been looking at the photos I realized how much I miss her. She said she was coming to town and asked if we could get together.

I have always been interested in the analysis of dreams. I thought about my dream of Hakki and the message from Rosie and remembered that she had been with me the night I met him. I had been depressed at that time after a breakup with my partner of five years, and she had convinced me to go dancing with her. At the disco a handsome dark-haired man asked me to dance. The moment we met I felt something for him and even before he told me his name, I knew it (although I thought "Akim" -- which later he told me was a name his grandmother called him.)
That night, meeting Hakki, changed my life.

So the connection, buried in my subconcious, had come back to me when I was thinking about Rosie.

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