SWIMMING AGAINST THE TIDE

SATURDAY, Sept 24

Parts of this week were so good, and parts were really rough. Those rough days are the ones when my friend is suffering. Monday and Wednesday turned out to be good days, but emotionally exhausting. Wednesday was also my first night school class (Prompting the Muse). It turns out they made it six weeks instead of eight and also failed to deliver my handouts to the school. So I was stressed over that as well as the long day at the hospital.
By the time I got home that night I was completely exhausted and ill with stomach cramps.

Thursday I was sick, cramps and flu-like symptoms that have been plaguing me at least by mid week for the last few weeks. I know it's stress but it's also food-related. In this case, the 'comfort' food I ate Wednesday -- a mushroom burger, fries and some pretzels for a snack when I got home from class. So I suffered all day Thursday but had a Memoir class in the moring and a Travel Writing at night. Went straight home to bed with the heating pad.

My apartment is freezing. More hassles with the landlords who refuse to turn the heat on although it is now Fall the temperature has dropped considerably. I have threatened to go to the Tenant's Right's Board if they don't fix my thermostat and turn on the heat. I suffered all last winter with the same problem. They are such liars and cheats.

Friday I was reluctant to go for a hospital visit, but as I had to go downtown I did. A. was not having a good day and wanted me to sit and hold his hand. It's the meds he's on making him anxious and I am afraid they are going to make things worse for him (morphine). I didn't stay long, enough for me to feel really upset. When I was waiting for a bus I started to cry and could hardly hold back the tears.

I had a birthday invitation that night at an Irish Pub and went, t hough my stomach was aching. It turned out to be a very nice party with some excellent people and in no time I felt better. Later went to the LQ though, and immediately got into a blue mood, wished I hadn't gone there. It was so hard.

Today two friends wanted to visit A. so I phoned him and he was very weak and sick, said he was having another bad day. So we didn't go. Instead, met my friend for coffee, later ran into another friend and passed the afternoon. Tonight, determined to have a good evening, I went with my Havana Buddy to an excellent concert to hear Mariza, a Portugese fado singer. (A woman with the most amazing voice I've ever heard!) Even though I kept reviewing the situation with A. in my mind during the concert, I found myself relaxing and the stomach ache went away. After the concert we went to the LQ and it all turned into an excellent evening.

I am so fortunate to have these kind friends around me to help me through this rough patch. I feel as if I am swimming against the tide, barely keeping my head above water at times. But caring friends are around me and I am safe.

Tomorrow I'm going to surround myself with writers at the Words on the Street Writers/Readers festival at the Public Library. And later my pal George is coming for dinner. He's been so good, phoning me nearly every day to ask how I'm doing. So I know tomorrow I'll be in good hands once again. My life savers!