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Tuesday, July 26, 2005

AS LONG AS I KEEP WRITING...

TUESDAY, July 26

Isn't it interesting the way certain thoughts can clog up your brain-waves? I mean, obsessive thoughts that bring you down to a negative space. For me, these seem to be mainly pertaining to relationships (or, a so-called 'friendship' with someone I once admired but now feel completely disillusioned by.) It's kind of like a brain-worm the same as the worms that get into your computer. I think I've found the perfect 'cure' though...KEEP ON WRITING!

The last couple of days I've dived right back into my writing routine. On Sunday I finished a new draft of a travel story and yesterday I spent four hours revising and editing the most recent chapters of my novel. As long as I am writing I am focused on those other worlds
and not dwelling on negative thoughts of missing persons. I even forget to eat, which is good, because, alas! in spite of the six day fast and being careful of what I am indulging in since then, I failed to lose a single ounce, and in fact gained .15 instead. How discouraging! However, I will continue to try, just as I am continuing to try to stop obsessing on persons who are distracting me from what I really should be focusing on: my writing and other great aspects of my life.

Obsession is a terrible thing and for some reason the last couple of years it seems to have caught hold of me. I was pretty well 'over' it by the time I got back from my trip to Greece, but then, just like a bad penny, the source of my obsession showed up again and set me off. Well, it's been a month now since I arrived back and a month since I got the message that this person wanted to see me, to talk, because I was 'different' from all the others. And I realize it is all pointless to carry on believing this when there are so many other more promising opportunities out there, and loads of friends who want to have my company. Besides, it is more important for me to concentrate on finishing my novel and stay in a positive head-space.

So for now, I am going to keep writing and having fun with my friends and making the best of my life which, generally speaking, is a very happy one!

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