SATURDAY, Feb 11/06
"I don't want beautiful dreams. I want beautiful realities."
George Bernard Shaw "Fanny's First Play"
I was going to stay home last night. Then my friend V. called and suggested we meet at the L.Q. I didn't expect much to be happening (as it hasn't, these past weekends). However, a big surprise when I arrived.
I was shown a seat at the bar and guess who was sitting there next to me? The lovely Frenchman, J.P., just returned from his holiday in France. I was flabbergasted! Didn't expect to see him at all let alone sit beside him all night and then (*sigh*) have him walk me all the way home! I thought this morning, though, how slow on the up-take I am. I should have invited him in for some hot chocolate and Napoleon brandy. He enjoys talking and we were having such a good conversation all night long, except the music was so loud at the bistro it was difficult to hear everything he was telling me.
On the way home we passed A's old apartment and I was explaining to him about A and me, and how he died, my feelings and everything that has happened since. He was a very symathetic listener. He is a wonderful, kind person and one I consider to be like a 'guardian angel' because every time we've met he has done kind things for me, and is such a gentle man.
So when I got home, what did I do? Had a hot chocolate and brandy night-cap and ate a couple of those special chocolates Patrick had sent me from Germany. I expected to have nightmares from the chocolate (it happens!) but instead I slept fairly well. Woke up thinking of J.P. and wondering when we'll meet again. If it's destined, it will happen, but I'd sure like to get to know him even better and spend more private time with him.
There is definitely an upswing in events this past week. I've been getting extra offers of writing-related work, my classes are going super well, the SUN has actually been shining ALL WEEK! YAY! and then all these other great things, unexpected happenings. And yesterday,(to start the day off right!) I received my tickets and hotel vouchers for Malaysia. What more could I ask for to top off the week?
Today is also a promising day. J.C. said he might show up at the LQ tonight - maybe --but he's going out to another music bar with his son and I'm going to a media reception put on by tourism New Zealand. First, an art show, then a reception and dinner at a posh hotel downtown. Wow! I wonder if I'm lucky enough to schmooze a free trip to N.Z. It's a destination I've always wanted to visit.
You never know about dreams. Some of them actually do turn into realities!
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
THE LUNAR NEW YEAR Gung Hai Fat Choy!
SUNDAY, Jan 29, 2006
It's the Chinese Lunar New Year, and it's the Year of the Dog (woof woof - - that's me!)
Gung Hai Fat Choy. Good Fortune to you!
I took advantage of a break in the steady downpour to go down to Chinatown this morning to watch the Chinese New Year parade. We have an enormous Chinese population here in my city, dating back to the turn of the century when Chinese workers came here to find their fortune working on the railway, and increasing the population during the hand-over of Hong Kong when a great many people immigrated here. And I'm certain most of them were present at the parade. A huge, pressing crowd and not much crowd control. Everyone was right on the road so there was barely enough room for the parade to pass and it was difficult to see much when you're a short person like me. I did find a step to stand up on and managed to see the tops of the performers. Lots of lion dancers and dragons, colourful banners and costumes. Drums booming, cymbals and gongs clashing, firecrackers exploding, confetti falling down in a rain of colour. It was fun. For the first time I noticed the bunches of lettuce that hung in shop doorways, good luck if the lion comes and snatches it. A lot of people were wearing red, the good luck colour. That last two nights when I went out I wore my embroidered scarlet Chinese jacket to celebrate 'my' year!
While watching the parade I recalled some events of the past. When I was supervisor of a Pre School in East Van, there was a little Chinese boy named Winston who absolutely loved the lion dance and would make his entry into the preschool with great dramatic pounces and snarls. On Chinese New Year we made a papier mache lion's head and decorated it with crepe paper and a colourful cloth body. Winston got to be the lion's head and performed for us with his little friends participating as the 'body'. It was always great fun.
And for the year I worked as an English teacher at an all Chinese daycare in Chinatown, this was a very important holiday celebration with the traditional foods being served and the lion dance performed in the gym area.
It's been a couple of years since I went down for the parade, and I'm glad I went. The rain held off until the end, started up just when I got home again. The bus was crowded with people coming home from the parade, carrying their little Chinese doo-dads and red paper envelops and banners. A very festive mood prevailed.
And good fortune has already begun to happen for me this week. It's a great start for the Lunar New Year. Yippidy yap yap!
***I guess I should also remember all the dog's I've owned: From when I was a small child, a black and white Border Collie, Flossie; Then a spanial named Dutchess who unfortunately got run over by a truck shortly after we moved to the Coast; she was replaced by another Spanial, Judy, who got sent away to doggie prison for biting the postman. After that, there were various bigger dogs: Taffy, a golden Lab; Chinook, a Samoyed-Lab cross who loved pulling and competing in dog-sled races; Tiny a Terrier-Poodle; and my beloved collection of prize-winning Yorkies: Candy, Fiona, Brandy and dear wee Megan who died tragically when she suddenly jumped out of my son's arms; Tippy, the hippy dog, a Border Collie; and last but never forgotten my adorable little Terri-Poo Sappho (Saffy) who was adopted by my Aunt Grace when I went to live in Greece and lived the rest of her life in doggie luxury.
I adore dogs, but now I live in an apartment and travel so often I can't keep one. But there's always my friend's cute little mini Pom, Niki, who I love to doggie-sit.
It's the Chinese Lunar New Year, and it's the Year of the Dog (woof woof - - that's me!)
Gung Hai Fat Choy. Good Fortune to you!
I took advantage of a break in the steady downpour to go down to Chinatown this morning to watch the Chinese New Year parade. We have an enormous Chinese population here in my city, dating back to the turn of the century when Chinese workers came here to find their fortune working on the railway, and increasing the population during the hand-over of Hong Kong when a great many people immigrated here. And I'm certain most of them were present at the parade. A huge, pressing crowd and not much crowd control. Everyone was right on the road so there was barely enough room for the parade to pass and it was difficult to see much when you're a short person like me. I did find a step to stand up on and managed to see the tops of the performers. Lots of lion dancers and dragons, colourful banners and costumes. Drums booming, cymbals and gongs clashing, firecrackers exploding, confetti falling down in a rain of colour. It was fun. For the first time I noticed the bunches of lettuce that hung in shop doorways, good luck if the lion comes and snatches it. A lot of people were wearing red, the good luck colour. That last two nights when I went out I wore my embroidered scarlet Chinese jacket to celebrate 'my' year!
While watching the parade I recalled some events of the past. When I was supervisor of a Pre School in East Van, there was a little Chinese boy named Winston who absolutely loved the lion dance and would make his entry into the preschool with great dramatic pounces and snarls. On Chinese New Year we made a papier mache lion's head and decorated it with crepe paper and a colourful cloth body. Winston got to be the lion's head and performed for us with his little friends participating as the 'body'. It was always great fun.
And for the year I worked as an English teacher at an all Chinese daycare in Chinatown, this was a very important holiday celebration with the traditional foods being served and the lion dance performed in the gym area.
It's been a couple of years since I went down for the parade, and I'm glad I went. The rain held off until the end, started up just when I got home again. The bus was crowded with people coming home from the parade, carrying their little Chinese doo-dads and red paper envelops and banners. A very festive mood prevailed.
And good fortune has already begun to happen for me this week. It's a great start for the Lunar New Year. Yippidy yap yap!
***I guess I should also remember all the dog's I've owned: From when I was a small child, a black and white Border Collie, Flossie; Then a spanial named Dutchess who unfortunately got run over by a truck shortly after we moved to the Coast; she was replaced by another Spanial, Judy, who got sent away to doggie prison for biting the postman. After that, there were various bigger dogs: Taffy, a golden Lab; Chinook, a Samoyed-Lab cross who loved pulling and competing in dog-sled races; Tiny a Terrier-Poodle; and my beloved collection of prize-winning Yorkies: Candy, Fiona, Brandy and dear wee Megan who died tragically when she suddenly jumped out of my son's arms; Tippy, the hippy dog, a Border Collie; and last but never forgotten my adorable little Terri-Poo Sappho (Saffy) who was adopted by my Aunt Grace when I went to live in Greece and lived the rest of her life in doggie luxury.
I adore dogs, but now I live in an apartment and travel so often I can't keep one. But there's always my friend's cute little mini Pom, Niki, who I love to doggie-sit.
Friday, January 27, 2006
PLAYING TAG
FRIDAY, Jan. 27/06
I've been "tagged" by Sam for the number 7 game. So here goes:
7 Things to do before I die:
Climb at least part of Mt. Olympus (in Greece)
Visit the Cook Islands
Visit Buenos Aires Argentina
Lose 40 pounds (haha!)
Catch up with all the reading I'm behind in.
Find a man who won't break my heart (one way or another).
Earn a whole pile of money (another haha)
7 Things I can't do
Climb Mt. Everest (or probably even visit Nepal now)
Travel anywhere I want to at the drop of a hat!
Do math without counting on my fingers.
Run a marathon
Be a triathalon athelete
Visit ancient Babylon (in Iraq)
Visit the sites of ancient Persia (in Iran)
7 things that attract me to men * if you're a man and I tagged you change that to 'women'
Nice butts and abs
sexy eyes
a lovely smile
a sensuous voice
hands that are warm and give a nice gentle touch
the mouth, the kiss, the words they speak...
A bright, intellectual, interesting mind
7 things I say most often
Rats!
Shit!
Oh well!
You've gotta be kidding!
Broke again!
What is there to eat?
7 books or series I love
Fire From Heaven (Mary Renault)
The Persian Boy (Mary Renault)
The King Must Die (Mary Renault)
The Bull From the Sea (Mary Renault)
The Mask of Apollo (Mary Renault)
Gates of Fire (Steven Pressfield) (and all his others too!)
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (Louis de Bernieres)
***There's lots more, including "The Synonym Finder" and "Webster's Ninth New College Dictionary)
7 movies or series I can watch multiple times
Shirley Valentine
The Odyssey
Alexander the Great (Oliver Stone's version)
Othello (or anything Shakespeare)
The Sheltering Sky
NYPD Blue (tv series)
Sex and the City (tv series)
7 people I want to join in the game. (Tagged! You're it!)
Debra
Di
Gabriel
Scott
Keith
Michael
Martha
I've been "tagged" by Sam for the number 7 game. So here goes:
7 Things to do before I die:
Climb at least part of Mt. Olympus (in Greece)
Visit the Cook Islands
Visit Buenos Aires Argentina
Lose 40 pounds (haha!)
Catch up with all the reading I'm behind in.
Find a man who won't break my heart (one way or another).
Earn a whole pile of money (another haha)
7 Things I can't do
Climb Mt. Everest (or probably even visit Nepal now)
Travel anywhere I want to at the drop of a hat!
Do math without counting on my fingers.
Run a marathon
Be a triathalon athelete
Visit ancient Babylon (in Iraq)
Visit the sites of ancient Persia (in Iran)
7 things that attract me to men * if you're a man and I tagged you change that to 'women'
Nice butts and abs
sexy eyes
a lovely smile
a sensuous voice
hands that are warm and give a nice gentle touch
the mouth, the kiss, the words they speak...
A bright, intellectual, interesting mind
7 things I say most often
Rats!
Shit!
Oh well!
You've gotta be kidding!
Broke again!
What is there to eat?
7 books or series I love
Fire From Heaven (Mary Renault)
The Persian Boy (Mary Renault)
The King Must Die (Mary Renault)
The Bull From the Sea (Mary Renault)
The Mask of Apollo (Mary Renault)
Gates of Fire (Steven Pressfield) (and all his others too!)
Captain Corelli's Mandolin (Louis de Bernieres)
***There's lots more, including "The Synonym Finder" and "Webster's Ninth New College Dictionary)
7 movies or series I can watch multiple times
Shirley Valentine
The Odyssey
Alexander the Great (Oliver Stone's version)
Othello (or anything Shakespeare)
The Sheltering Sky
NYPD Blue (tv series)
Sex and the City (tv series)
7 people I want to join in the game. (Tagged! You're it!)
Debra
Di
Gabriel
Scott
Keith
Michael
Martha
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
THE LUCKY PENNY
TUESDAY, January 10/06
Perhaps it was that shiney new lucky penny that I picked up on my way to the pool this morning. Whatever, the day has turned out to be full of magic so far. In spite of the on-going rain (almost a record rainfall since 1953) the sun broke through briefly but again, gray skies and gloom, however the events of the day so far have brought some respite. First I bumped into my Havana Buddy unexpectedly on the Drive. I was going up to have a latte at the Calabria but decided instead to go home and on the way picked up some milk so I could make my own coffee. Just stepped out of the store and a thought crossed my mind as to when I would next bump into that lovely Frenchman. No sooner had the thought formulated than I looked up and there he was coming up the street! Talk about magic!
We had our usual hugs and pleasant chat. He's leaving for France next week to visit his mother for 3 weeks. Then I got home to find my yearly bus pass had arrived. (Yay! Now I am not confined to waking or staying home as I had just run out of tickets and had no money to purchase more). Also in the mail was an application from the school board to apply for a summer school instructor's job (I'm applying to teach creative writing). If I could land that it would solve the usual problem of unemployment for the summer months. Wouldn't that be dandy?)
Then I noticed a phone message and it was my dear friend George calling from California so I returned the call and we talked for a long time. That was another very pleasant surprise.
In all, I feel like I'm on a lucky roll. So perhaps I'll apply some of that good will and good fortune to my writing and see if I have any luck with the next chapter segement of the novel.
Perhaps it was that shiney new lucky penny that I picked up on my way to the pool this morning. Whatever, the day has turned out to be full of magic so far. In spite of the on-going rain (almost a record rainfall since 1953) the sun broke through briefly but again, gray skies and gloom, however the events of the day so far have brought some respite. First I bumped into my Havana Buddy unexpectedly on the Drive. I was going up to have a latte at the Calabria but decided instead to go home and on the way picked up some milk so I could make my own coffee. Just stepped out of the store and a thought crossed my mind as to when I would next bump into that lovely Frenchman. No sooner had the thought formulated than I looked up and there he was coming up the street! Talk about magic!
We had our usual hugs and pleasant chat. He's leaving for France next week to visit his mother for 3 weeks. Then I got home to find my yearly bus pass had arrived. (Yay! Now I am not confined to waking or staying home as I had just run out of tickets and had no money to purchase more). Also in the mail was an application from the school board to apply for a summer school instructor's job (I'm applying to teach creative writing). If I could land that it would solve the usual problem of unemployment for the summer months. Wouldn't that be dandy?)
Then I noticed a phone message and it was my dear friend George calling from California so I returned the call and we talked for a long time. That was another very pleasant surprise.
In all, I feel like I'm on a lucky roll. So perhaps I'll apply some of that good will and good fortune to my writing and see if I have any luck with the next chapter segement of the novel.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
TRIP PREPS AND OTHER STUFF TO START OFF THE NEW YEAR
THURSDAY, Jan. 5, 2006
Here we are in 2006, another New Year. After my lovely weekend with cousins, I came back to town and decided to start off the week getting back on track, trying to stay positive in spite of serious financial difficulties, and to do so started making positive plans for my trip in March as well as other things. I have investigated the immunizations we will need and will make an appt. with the travel immunization clinic doctor to check re the Hep A/B and malaria meds.
I went to my own doctor yesterday and had an updated DPT shot. While there we talked about A. because he had been a patient at that clinic and well t hought of. I told her how how it has been for me getting over the trauma of watching him die, and the grief. It was good to talk and I'm glad I did though I'd at first not really wanted to see this young doctor. She hasn't instilled a lot of confidence in me in the past. But yesterday she lent a sympathetic ear which was helpful.
The hotel is arranged for our extended stay at the Lagoon Resort on Langkawi. I'll soon write another travel blog with updates on my travel blog site:
http://travelthroughhistory.blogspot.com
Last night I was invited out by my Havana Buddy to go see my son's band play. That made for a pleasant evening. He's a great guy, my Buddy, and has been supportive and helpful to me.
Tomorrow I'm going to get the passport renewed. That was weighing heavily on my mind but thanks to a loan from HB I am able to get it done.
Today I went to waterfit even though I'd much rather have spend the morning in bed. A cold, wet, gray day. But I was glad I went and swam some lengths as well which made me feel better. I need to increase my daily aerobics and exercise activity. I even managed to get my strip of gym tickets so now I can go back to the weight room next week. I've become lazy and my poor old body is suffering as a result. And I think the exercise will be good for my depression and uplift my spirits as well as energy. Wish I could go join Weight Watchers too, but I can't afford to right now.
There's still some business to take care of next week and I haven't figured out how to do it as I need some more cash to see me through til my clases start in the mid-month. But, somehow it will all work out. It always does. Somebody up there likes me and is watching out for me. So perhaps there will be some more pennies from heaven falling soon.
Here we are in 2006, another New Year. After my lovely weekend with cousins, I came back to town and decided to start off the week getting back on track, trying to stay positive in spite of serious financial difficulties, and to do so started making positive plans for my trip in March as well as other things. I have investigated the immunizations we will need and will make an appt. with the travel immunization clinic doctor to check re the Hep A/B and malaria meds.
I went to my own doctor yesterday and had an updated DPT shot. While there we talked about A. because he had been a patient at that clinic and well t hought of. I told her how how it has been for me getting over the trauma of watching him die, and the grief. It was good to talk and I'm glad I did though I'd at first not really wanted to see this young doctor. She hasn't instilled a lot of confidence in me in the past. But yesterday she lent a sympathetic ear which was helpful.
The hotel is arranged for our extended stay at the Lagoon Resort on Langkawi. I'll soon write another travel blog with updates on my travel blog site:
http://travelthroughhistory.blogspot.com
Last night I was invited out by my Havana Buddy to go see my son's band play. That made for a pleasant evening. He's a great guy, my Buddy, and has been supportive and helpful to me.
Tomorrow I'm going to get the passport renewed. That was weighing heavily on my mind but thanks to a loan from HB I am able to get it done.
Today I went to waterfit even though I'd much rather have spend the morning in bed. A cold, wet, gray day. But I was glad I went and swam some lengths as well which made me feel better. I need to increase my daily aerobics and exercise activity. I even managed to get my strip of gym tickets so now I can go back to the weight room next week. I've become lazy and my poor old body is suffering as a result. And I think the exercise will be good for my depression and uplift my spirits as well as energy. Wish I could go join Weight Watchers too, but I can't afford to right now.
There's still some business to take care of next week and I haven't figured out how to do it as I need some more cash to see me through til my clases start in the mid-month. But, somehow it will all work out. It always does. Somebody up there likes me and is watching out for me. So perhaps there will be some more pennies from heaven falling soon.
Friday, December 30, 2005
THE SHADOW OF HIS SMILE
FRIDAY, Dec. 30/05
It's been a difficult few months getting through the grief of losing my dear friend Anibal. I have sometimes wondered when the tears would stop, and just when I think they have, I'll suddenly burst into weeping again often quite unexepectedly on buses or while walking down the street. I've tried to keep busy, occupied with happy pursuits, not dwelling on the loss. Most of all, trying to erase from my memory those last weeks when he was suffering so terrible, had grown so thin and the horror of watching him losing it and slip away day by day. I realize now, I was quite traumatized by that experience.
The most fantastic gift that has come out of this ordeal is getting to know his family. We have made such a beautiful connection, and I have grown to love them like the are my own children.
This week the girls came for lunch and two of the youngest grandchildren -- sweet little kids, so shy. The girls and I had such a lovely visit and while they were here we phoned their Mom in Chile. It was so good to talk to her. She told me how she had showed A. all around her house and took him (his ashes) to the beach where she's erected a little shrine so he'd have some solitude (which he would like). She said "He's happy now." And I'm sure he is.
I'm hoping in 2006 to go to Chile to visit her.
Then last night, when I was walking home I met A's son. We hugged and had a brief chat. It was like another 'gift', a glimpse of A. That same smile, the way he looked when he was younger and thinner. His son, like him, is apparantly a writer and has inherited his dad's journals. I would very much like to get to know him the way I have become aquainted with the girls, and I'm sure that in the future I will. Most of all, I know that Anibal is happy about this, and now when I 'see' him, I visualize him the way he was before he got so dreadfully ill: especially that big shining smile of his.
It's been a difficult few months getting through the grief of losing my dear friend Anibal. I have sometimes wondered when the tears would stop, and just when I think they have, I'll suddenly burst into weeping again often quite unexepectedly on buses or while walking down the street. I've tried to keep busy, occupied with happy pursuits, not dwelling on the loss. Most of all, trying to erase from my memory those last weeks when he was suffering so terrible, had grown so thin and the horror of watching him losing it and slip away day by day. I realize now, I was quite traumatized by that experience.
The most fantastic gift that has come out of this ordeal is getting to know his family. We have made such a beautiful connection, and I have grown to love them like the are my own children.
This week the girls came for lunch and two of the youngest grandchildren -- sweet little kids, so shy. The girls and I had such a lovely visit and while they were here we phoned their Mom in Chile. It was so good to talk to her. She told me how she had showed A. all around her house and took him (his ashes) to the beach where she's erected a little shrine so he'd have some solitude (which he would like). She said "He's happy now." And I'm sure he is.
I'm hoping in 2006 to go to Chile to visit her.
Then last night, when I was walking home I met A's son. We hugged and had a brief chat. It was like another 'gift', a glimpse of A. That same smile, the way he looked when he was younger and thinner. His son, like him, is apparantly a writer and has inherited his dad's journals. I would very much like to get to know him the way I have become aquainted with the girls, and I'm sure that in the future I will. Most of all, I know that Anibal is happy about this, and now when I 'see' him, I visualize him the way he was before he got so dreadfully ill: especially that big shining smile of his.
Friday, December 23, 2005
I'M DREAMING OF A WET CHRISTMAS
FRIDAY, Dec. 23
We had our cold, frosty weather a few weeks ago. Even a few snow flurries. Now that it's almost Christmas it has turned mild and very wet. Rain, rain and more rain! Some of the mountain ski resorts are having to close because of the melt-down spoiling the ski season which had got off to such a great start. I do hope that it isn't this mild in the Interior or it will ruin the ski/snow-board holiday my daughter and grandson were going on. I did hear from my sister and another friend who lives in the South Thompson that it is rainy and mild there too. My friend and her gang had planned a sleigh ride for Christmas Eve. Last year she said it was canceled because of the extreme cold. This year it may be canceled due to the extreme wet.
Well, all the shopping is done except for the wine which I'll pick up in the morning. Today I got all the makings for the "Life's Great Dinners" menu I always make for Christmas Eve:
cornish hens in sherry sauce with pate, rice, tiny peas and a crab bisque for starters. My guests will bring the appetizers. I am looking forward to this as we always have a jolly time. So I'll write more details about it after the weekend. Guests will include my son Steve, his wife Sue and various friends. I always like to invite those who have no families here -- the orphans -- so it makes it special for them too. I'm so used to the big family Christmases of the past and I miss that so this makes up for it.
I'm trying to be merry and gay but there is such an underlying sadness, still grieving over Anibal. I wonder how long it will take before I am over the sorrow? But this weekend I must try to stay above it and enjoy the festivities. Christmas is a happy time, a time of Peace and Love and Goodwill to All Mankind. And especially a time for family and friends.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND I HOPE SOME OF YOU HAVE A WHITE CHRISTMAS!
We had our cold, frosty weather a few weeks ago. Even a few snow flurries. Now that it's almost Christmas it has turned mild and very wet. Rain, rain and more rain! Some of the mountain ski resorts are having to close because of the melt-down spoiling the ski season which had got off to such a great start. I do hope that it isn't this mild in the Interior or it will ruin the ski/snow-board holiday my daughter and grandson were going on. I did hear from my sister and another friend who lives in the South Thompson that it is rainy and mild there too. My friend and her gang had planned a sleigh ride for Christmas Eve. Last year she said it was canceled because of the extreme cold. This year it may be canceled due to the extreme wet.
Well, all the shopping is done except for the wine which I'll pick up in the morning. Today I got all the makings for the "Life's Great Dinners" menu I always make for Christmas Eve:
cornish hens in sherry sauce with pate, rice, tiny peas and a crab bisque for starters. My guests will bring the appetizers. I am looking forward to this as we always have a jolly time. So I'll write more details about it after the weekend. Guests will include my son Steve, his wife Sue and various friends. I always like to invite those who have no families here -- the orphans -- so it makes it special for them too. I'm so used to the big family Christmases of the past and I miss that so this makes up for it.
I'm trying to be merry and gay but there is such an underlying sadness, still grieving over Anibal. I wonder how long it will take before I am over the sorrow? But this weekend I must try to stay above it and enjoy the festivities. Christmas is a happy time, a time of Peace and Love and Goodwill to All Mankind. And especially a time for family and friends.
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND I HOPE SOME OF YOU HAVE A WHITE CHRISTMAS!
Saturday, December 10, 2005
REMEMBERING OLD FRIENDS
SATURDAY, Dec. 12
I went to a senior's luncheon today at my Dad's old Church. A number of the people who used to belong to the Young Couple's Club when I was first married were there. One of them is also an old school chum, from our teens. And one is the daughter of a very dear friend, my hiking buddy, who passed away 16 years ago today. Her family and mine were very connected, like an extended family. And Paula is almost like a surrogate daughter.
It happened that during the luncheon they held a memorial for several of the Church members who have passed. One of them was a very old family friend, who died this week. Emmett knew my family when Dad was the pastor of a prairie church back at the end of the depression, when I was just a little kid. His family, including his cousins, were the only African Canadians around the area. They were very poor, but I always remember Mom saying that their house was so clean you could eat off the floors. Emmett and his cousin Macky used to attend Sunday School at Dad's church. A favorite story about them was that one Sunday they arrived at the service late, coming straight in up the aise to the front, dragging along a wagon full of beer bottles that they'd collected on the way. Emmett would laugh that low chuckling laugh of his and deny he was involved in the prank. "Must have been Macky," he'd say.
Years later when Emmett moved to the Coast, after the war when Dad returned from overseas and was offered this Church here, Emmett saw his name in the paper and came to the Church to see Dad. He has attended ever since, faithfully, right up til his illness and passing.
There were lots of stories told about him today, we all had to smile, remembering. There were also remembrances for several other old family friends, and friends who had chummed with my husband and I when we were all in the Young Couples Club.
The lunch (dinner) was turkey and all the trimmings. Church dinners are always special affairs. And after carol singing and various other amusing activities, they gave out gift bags to everyone which I thought was a very sweet gesture.
It's always a very nostalgic time for me to return to the Church. It holds so many of my personal memories as well as family memories. My father and mother were well loved and I was asked to say something about them during the memorial. I know they would have been pleased. It's so nice that I've kept some of the same friends from my Church days, including my friend who will accompany me to Malaysia in March. She is the girlfriend (my namesake) who I have known the longest, since I was twelve and we first moved here from the East.
And last night I went to a small party for my other very close and dear friend Rosie who I have known since I first met my husband. (She was a chum of the daughter of my husband's partner).
And Suzaki, who is coming for dinner tonight and an evening of dancing, I've known for over 30 years! How fortunate I am to have kept these precious friends all these years!
I went to a senior's luncheon today at my Dad's old Church. A number of the people who used to belong to the Young Couple's Club when I was first married were there. One of them is also an old school chum, from our teens. And one is the daughter of a very dear friend, my hiking buddy, who passed away 16 years ago today. Her family and mine were very connected, like an extended family. And Paula is almost like a surrogate daughter.
It happened that during the luncheon they held a memorial for several of the Church members who have passed. One of them was a very old family friend, who died this week. Emmett knew my family when Dad was the pastor of a prairie church back at the end of the depression, when I was just a little kid. His family, including his cousins, were the only African Canadians around the area. They were very poor, but I always remember Mom saying that their house was so clean you could eat off the floors. Emmett and his cousin Macky used to attend Sunday School at Dad's church. A favorite story about them was that one Sunday they arrived at the service late, coming straight in up the aise to the front, dragging along a wagon full of beer bottles that they'd collected on the way. Emmett would laugh that low chuckling laugh of his and deny he was involved in the prank. "Must have been Macky," he'd say.
Years later when Emmett moved to the Coast, after the war when Dad returned from overseas and was offered this Church here, Emmett saw his name in the paper and came to the Church to see Dad. He has attended ever since, faithfully, right up til his illness and passing.
There were lots of stories told about him today, we all had to smile, remembering. There were also remembrances for several other old family friends, and friends who had chummed with my husband and I when we were all in the Young Couples Club.
The lunch (dinner) was turkey and all the trimmings. Church dinners are always special affairs. And after carol singing and various other amusing activities, they gave out gift bags to everyone which I thought was a very sweet gesture.
It's always a very nostalgic time for me to return to the Church. It holds so many of my personal memories as well as family memories. My father and mother were well loved and I was asked to say something about them during the memorial. I know they would have been pleased. It's so nice that I've kept some of the same friends from my Church days, including my friend who will accompany me to Malaysia in March. She is the girlfriend (my namesake) who I have known the longest, since I was twelve and we first moved here from the East.
And last night I went to a small party for my other very close and dear friend Rosie who I have known since I first met my husband. (She was a chum of the daughter of my husband's partner).
And Suzaki, who is coming for dinner tonight and an evening of dancing, I've known for over 30 years! How fortunate I am to have kept these precious friends all these years!
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
BACK WITH THE LITTLE ONES AGAIN!
TUESDAY, Dec. 6
At last, after two months of no daycare work, I've been offered several shifts. So today I'm off to be with the little ones again. How I've missed them! I had begun to think that I was 'officially' retired and resigned to that. But I am grateful for this renewed interest in my services. In particular at this time of year when money is scarce and I have no other work to generate it.
Things have been going along well this past weekend and forward. The party at the Cottage last Friday was excellent. I never did find that red blouse. Instead selected from my wardrobe archives my Chinese embroidered silk scarlet jacket. Combined with black slacks and high-necked silky shirt it looked terrific. And my copper-tone hair was a hit too. All those compliments certainly were welcome after two weeks of feeling really ill with flu symptoms and stomach aches.
On the weekend I went for dinner and a movie with Kitty and Ingrid. K. is returning to England today and we'll sure miss her and her computer techie husband. Sunday I stayed in, watched the snow falling, and by the time I wanted to go walking in it, it had turned to rain! Yesterday I spent a pleasant afternoon with my pal Astarte, then George came by for awhile so I could share the extra frozen goods with him that Kitty had given me. (My freezer is bulging!)
And last night at my writer's critique group, when I read the revisions on the latest chapter of "Shadow", the reviews were good, very positive. So I was pleased and relieved. It's a tricky part of the novel to write and I've felt a bit stalled and overwhelmed with it.
No writing today. I'm working a full shift and again on Friday. And starting with the daycare Christmas party Friday evening the weekend will once again be party time. It's that time of year again, and the social calendar is starting to look full!
At last, after two months of no daycare work, I've been offered several shifts. So today I'm off to be with the little ones again. How I've missed them! I had begun to think that I was 'officially' retired and resigned to that. But I am grateful for this renewed interest in my services. In particular at this time of year when money is scarce and I have no other work to generate it.
Things have been going along well this past weekend and forward. The party at the Cottage last Friday was excellent. I never did find that red blouse. Instead selected from my wardrobe archives my Chinese embroidered silk scarlet jacket. Combined with black slacks and high-necked silky shirt it looked terrific. And my copper-tone hair was a hit too. All those compliments certainly were welcome after two weeks of feeling really ill with flu symptoms and stomach aches.
On the weekend I went for dinner and a movie with Kitty and Ingrid. K. is returning to England today and we'll sure miss her and her computer techie husband. Sunday I stayed in, watched the snow falling, and by the time I wanted to go walking in it, it had turned to rain! Yesterday I spent a pleasant afternoon with my pal Astarte, then George came by for awhile so I could share the extra frozen goods with him that Kitty had given me. (My freezer is bulging!)
And last night at my writer's critique group, when I read the revisions on the latest chapter of "Shadow", the reviews were good, very positive. So I was pleased and relieved. It's a tricky part of the novel to write and I've felt a bit stalled and overwhelmed with it.
No writing today. I'm working a full shift and again on Friday. And starting with the daycare Christmas party Friday evening the weekend will once again be party time. It's that time of year again, and the social calendar is starting to look full!
Thursday, December 01, 2005
THE ONGOING QUEST FOR THE RED BLOUSE
THURSDAY, December 1
This is the second day of the on-going quest for the red blouse. Maybe I should have titled this THE RED BLOUSE DIARIES.
I wrote yesterday in my writer's blog about my search for just the right red blouse which I want for my festive costume. The one I'd seen on the Drive proved to be rather cheesy and not exactly what I'd had in mind. So yesterday I search one of the big malls for hours looking for one. No luck. And today, I searched some shops downtown. No luck. One last try tomorrow on the Drive and after that I'll give up and settle for something out of my closet. I did want red
though, to go with my new copper-streaked hair.
I tried my new 'do' out on my Memoir lady friends today when we went for lunch, and everyone liked it. And again tonight, with another group of ladies (writers) who got together for our annual pre-Christmas dinner. I wore my coral-coloured sweater tonight and it really enhanced the apricot shade of the hair. So perhaps if I can't find the right red I'll try coral.
It's the big party tomorrow night at the Cottage Bistro. The Kozak's Sixth Annual Christmas Blues Bash. My son Steve's band is playing and as well there'll be other drop-in musicians.
It's the first big party of the Festive Season and I'm really looking forward to it!
These days I'm trying to get out of the depressed mood I've been in since A. died, so I figured that a change of appearance would be a good start. Too bad there's not some magical way of suddenly losing 20 kilos, but that will be my next project as I intend to join Weight Watchers s.a.p. And get back to the gym again next week. I realized, while looking at clothing, that if I didn't feel (look) so lumpy I'd be able to have a wider range of choices for what to wear. Ugh! I hate the state I'm in right now. It's just not comfortable.
Anyway, I feel I'm on the right track, and my mood is lifting. Soon I'll be feeling my old self again. After all the holiday season is coming and there's so many wonderful social events already marked on the calendar. And it's not as if I don't have anything to wear. My closet is crammed with stuff. It's just that I had my heart set on something RED.
This is the second day of the on-going quest for the red blouse. Maybe I should have titled this THE RED BLOUSE DIARIES.
I wrote yesterday in my writer's blog about my search for just the right red blouse which I want for my festive costume. The one I'd seen on the Drive proved to be rather cheesy and not exactly what I'd had in mind. So yesterday I search one of the big malls for hours looking for one. No luck. And today, I searched some shops downtown. No luck. One last try tomorrow on the Drive and after that I'll give up and settle for something out of my closet. I did want red
though, to go with my new copper-streaked hair.
I tried my new 'do' out on my Memoir lady friends today when we went for lunch, and everyone liked it. And again tonight, with another group of ladies (writers) who got together for our annual pre-Christmas dinner. I wore my coral-coloured sweater tonight and it really enhanced the apricot shade of the hair. So perhaps if I can't find the right red I'll try coral.
It's the big party tomorrow night at the Cottage Bistro. The Kozak's Sixth Annual Christmas Blues Bash. My son Steve's band is playing and as well there'll be other drop-in musicians.
It's the first big party of the Festive Season and I'm really looking forward to it!
These days I'm trying to get out of the depressed mood I've been in since A. died, so I figured that a change of appearance would be a good start. Too bad there's not some magical way of suddenly losing 20 kilos, but that will be my next project as I intend to join Weight Watchers s.a.p. And get back to the gym again next week. I realized, while looking at clothing, that if I didn't feel (look) so lumpy I'd be able to have a wider range of choices for what to wear. Ugh! I hate the state I'm in right now. It's just not comfortable.
Anyway, I feel I'm on the right track, and my mood is lifting. Soon I'll be feeling my old self again. After all the holiday season is coming and there's so many wonderful social events already marked on the calendar. And it's not as if I don't have anything to wear. My closet is crammed with stuff. It's just that I had my heart set on something RED.
Monday, November 28, 2005
'TIS THE SEASON
'Tis the Season to get jolly....Fa la la la la lala la la....
It's that time of year again...almost December and the Christmas parties and get-togethers are starting up. This week is the beginning of a month of festive activities.
Lunch tomorrow with the grad class ladies; lunch on Thurs. with the Memoir ladies; dinner Thursday night with a little group of writers who meet only this time of year; and on Friday night...The Annual Kozak Christmas Blues Bash at the Cottage Bistro.
My son Steve, his wife Sue and me have been hosting this grand affair for the last five years, entertained by my son's band the Westcoast Blues. As we all live in apartments it seemed a good idea to have a party where we could have live music and dancing, so we chose the Cottage as a venue as that's where Steve hosts the Saturday afternoon jam sessions.
It's always an event to look forward to. We invite as many people as we liked and there's a lot of musicians drop in to jam with the band. So it's a highlight of the Christmas season.
I must go shopping this week for my Christmas costume. Have my eye on a nice red Indian cotton top to wear with my black velvet pants and some red spangly slippers so that's my first choice. MJ gave me a sequined jacket but that's a bit to dressy for the Cottage and I'll save it to wear at our Scribbler's party next week.
I've started my Christmas shopping. I've only a short list this year and have some ideas what to get on my limited budget. And in a week or two I'll lug the box of decorations down from the closet and start decorating the apartment. I already have the lights up on the windows cause I leave those up all year round.
It's a season of happiness and good will and I'm trying, each day, to get out from under the cloud of despair that I was in after A's death. It's getting easier, though I am still thinking of him constantly. I'm sure the Christmas spirit will help me get over the broken heart. I love this time of year!
It's that time of year again...almost December and the Christmas parties and get-togethers are starting up. This week is the beginning of a month of festive activities.
Lunch tomorrow with the grad class ladies; lunch on Thurs. with the Memoir ladies; dinner Thursday night with a little group of writers who meet only this time of year; and on Friday night...The Annual Kozak Christmas Blues Bash at the Cottage Bistro.
My son Steve, his wife Sue and me have been hosting this grand affair for the last five years, entertained by my son's band the Westcoast Blues. As we all live in apartments it seemed a good idea to have a party where we could have live music and dancing, so we chose the Cottage as a venue as that's where Steve hosts the Saturday afternoon jam sessions.
It's always an event to look forward to. We invite as many people as we liked and there's a lot of musicians drop in to jam with the band. So it's a highlight of the Christmas season.
I must go shopping this week for my Christmas costume. Have my eye on a nice red Indian cotton top to wear with my black velvet pants and some red spangly slippers so that's my first choice. MJ gave me a sequined jacket but that's a bit to dressy for the Cottage and I'll save it to wear at our Scribbler's party next week.
I've started my Christmas shopping. I've only a short list this year and have some ideas what to get on my limited budget. And in a week or two I'll lug the box of decorations down from the closet and start decorating the apartment. I already have the lights up on the windows cause I leave those up all year round.
It's a season of happiness and good will and I'm trying, each day, to get out from under the cloud of despair that I was in after A's death. It's getting easier, though I am still thinking of him constantly. I'm sure the Christmas spirit will help me get over the broken heart. I love this time of year!
Saturday, November 26, 2005
GREY CUP WEEKEND
SATURDAY, Nov.26
It's the Grey Cup weekend for football fans here in sunny Vancouver (yes, sun - not rain or fog!)
This dredges up a lot of old memories, going back to the days when we used to live up in Edmonton and were ardent Edmonton Eskimo fans. These days I rarely take an interest in football, prefer other kinds of sports and I'm not so much of a spectator anyway.
The two teams: Edmonton Eskimos and Montreal Alouettes, are kicking off tomorrow. Of course there was major disappointment for the local fans when our B.C.Lions failed to make it to the final but that's the way it's gone for them this season.
The Grey Cup playoff is always the biggest excuse ever for major drunken debauchery and disorderliness and starting last night in our town the parties were off to a good start. I wouldn't want to be downtown this weekend, not even to see the parade. I don't really care whether Pamela Anderson is parade marshal or who is. Football is just not my thing. And anyway, I saw the Santa Claus parade last Sunday. Guess I'm just a kid at heart!
This weekend brought back a lot of past memories -- all the Grey Cup weekends we celebrated in Edmonton, parties that lasted for days, cases of booze, trays of snacks, wild days and nights. It seems to me that the Eskis were usually the ones who were playing the finals and usually the ones who won. (So of course I'll be cheering them from afar this weekend!) We'd usually gather at our place -- I had the reputation of given the best parties -- and would start very early on the morning of the Game. Generally everyone was pretty well soused before the game even started (and judging from the antics downtown last night -- two days before -- the same thing happens everywhere.) Of course, if your team won you'd really be off celebrating high-style.
And the party generally lasted the entire weekend. I think that somehow the party was the main event and the game was just the excuse to get wild and crazy (wilder and crazier than usual!)
Knowing the way the young toughs in this town misbehave I'd be surprised if this weekend there isn't a call for extra cops (lots of them) and even the riot squad. The roving bands of drunken louts have had a reptutation in the past of tearing up the town and vandalising everything in sight. All the name of sports? Fun? What??
I found it more fun when I've been in Greece during major soccer playoffs and the merriment was usually cars full of fans driving around waving banners, shouting and honking horns. Of course a lot of wine is imbibed there too, but it always seemed a lot more 'civilized' to me...unless of course you happen to be in a place where a British team is playing and the rowdy beer-swilling Brits
(Manchester fans, etc) have to live up to their reputation of creating havoc and mayhem.
Not for me. I'll enjoy the sunshine and peace of my neighbourhood today and all weekend, except tomorrow when we are invited to a friend's downtown and will no doubt get caught up in the pre and post game rioting!
It's the Grey Cup weekend for football fans here in sunny Vancouver (yes, sun - not rain or fog!)
This dredges up a lot of old memories, going back to the days when we used to live up in Edmonton and were ardent Edmonton Eskimo fans. These days I rarely take an interest in football, prefer other kinds of sports and I'm not so much of a spectator anyway.
The two teams: Edmonton Eskimos and Montreal Alouettes, are kicking off tomorrow. Of course there was major disappointment for the local fans when our B.C.Lions failed to make it to the final but that's the way it's gone for them this season.
The Grey Cup playoff is always the biggest excuse ever for major drunken debauchery and disorderliness and starting last night in our town the parties were off to a good start. I wouldn't want to be downtown this weekend, not even to see the parade. I don't really care whether Pamela Anderson is parade marshal or who is. Football is just not my thing. And anyway, I saw the Santa Claus parade last Sunday. Guess I'm just a kid at heart!
This weekend brought back a lot of past memories -- all the Grey Cup weekends we celebrated in Edmonton, parties that lasted for days, cases of booze, trays of snacks, wild days and nights. It seems to me that the Eskis were usually the ones who were playing the finals and usually the ones who won. (So of course I'll be cheering them from afar this weekend!) We'd usually gather at our place -- I had the reputation of given the best parties -- and would start very early on the morning of the Game. Generally everyone was pretty well soused before the game even started (and judging from the antics downtown last night -- two days before -- the same thing happens everywhere.) Of course, if your team won you'd really be off celebrating high-style.
And the party generally lasted the entire weekend. I think that somehow the party was the main event and the game was just the excuse to get wild and crazy (wilder and crazier than usual!)
Knowing the way the young toughs in this town misbehave I'd be surprised if this weekend there isn't a call for extra cops (lots of them) and even the riot squad. The roving bands of drunken louts have had a reptutation in the past of tearing up the town and vandalising everything in sight. All the name of sports? Fun? What??
I found it more fun when I've been in Greece during major soccer playoffs and the merriment was usually cars full of fans driving around waving banners, shouting and honking horns. Of course a lot of wine is imbibed there too, but it always seemed a lot more 'civilized' to me...unless of course you happen to be in a place where a British team is playing and the rowdy beer-swilling Brits
(Manchester fans, etc) have to live up to their reputation of creating havoc and mayhem.
Not for me. I'll enjoy the sunshine and peace of my neighbourhood today and all weekend, except tomorrow when we are invited to a friend's downtown and will no doubt get caught up in the pre and post game rioting!
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
A GOOD START TO THE NEW WEEK
TUESDAY, Nov. 22
I'm feeling much better this week, though still not 100%. Today I went to watefit for the first time in months. It felt so good to exercise and swim again. Afterwards I spent some time in the whirl-pool tub and also the steam room. When I got home my friends MJ and B. came over to visit and B. helped me with some techie stuff on my computer. So now I'm all set to do some more writing. So far yesterday I started adding literary content to my Searching for Alexander story and also editing stories for my classes. Today I've edited some stories and then I'll try to get something done on the novel, or at least finish the revisions on the Alexander story. At least I feel on the right track once again.
It's been easier too, dealing with the grief. Now when I pass by A's empty apartment I don't feel so sad as I no longer feel his spirit is there. It's empty. Everyone is gone. Of course I will always have memories of those last three weeks, and will I ever pass by the bedroom window without remembering that he died in that room? But yesterday I didn't burst into tears once, though there was the occasional lump in my throat. And I haven't today, either. That's a good sign.
I have lots of activities and invitations for the rest of the week including lunch with his family tomorrow as well as day browsing around the Drive with my dear friend Cheryl. Thursday I have a lunch date with M. and maybe Rosie is coming to town this weekend. Social events galore. I think I'm even going to get my hair done. Planning a new cut and maybe even some copper highlights in the blonde. Have to consult with my stylist about that.
It's time for the Festive Season and a new beginning. I want to feel happy again!
I'm feeling much better this week, though still not 100%. Today I went to watefit for the first time in months. It felt so good to exercise and swim again. Afterwards I spent some time in the whirl-pool tub and also the steam room. When I got home my friends MJ and B. came over to visit and B. helped me with some techie stuff on my computer. So now I'm all set to do some more writing. So far yesterday I started adding literary content to my Searching for Alexander story and also editing stories for my classes. Today I've edited some stories and then I'll try to get something done on the novel, or at least finish the revisions on the Alexander story. At least I feel on the right track once again.
It's been easier too, dealing with the grief. Now when I pass by A's empty apartment I don't feel so sad as I no longer feel his spirit is there. It's empty. Everyone is gone. Of course I will always have memories of those last three weeks, and will I ever pass by the bedroom window without remembering that he died in that room? But yesterday I didn't burst into tears once, though there was the occasional lump in my throat. And I haven't today, either. That's a good sign.
I have lots of activities and invitations for the rest of the week including lunch with his family tomorrow as well as day browsing around the Drive with my dear friend Cheryl. Thursday I have a lunch date with M. and maybe Rosie is coming to town this weekend. Social events galore. I think I'm even going to get my hair done. Planning a new cut and maybe even some copper highlights in the blonde. Have to consult with my stylist about that.
It's time for the Festive Season and a new beginning. I want to feel happy again!
Sunday, November 20, 2005
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN!
SUNDAY, November 20
It's that time of year again...the funny fat guy in the red flannel suit is here already!
I was invited to join my friend Anne's family today for the annual Santa Claus breakfast at the grand old Fairmont Vancouver Hotel. This meant getting up super early -- even before my bird had roused himself. Off we went with the two little fellows, Charming,MisterYusuf (5)and Omar the Magnificent (7), two of my favorite boyfriends.
It was a lavish buffet breakfast served in the hotel's posh upstairs banquet room with crystal chandeliers, Persian rugs, and beautiful Christmas decorations all around. The food was excellent, though with my upset tummy I was really not able to enjoy it as I should have. The young lads thoroughly enjoyed themselves, occupied happily with the various toys and colouring books and pipe cleaner projects provided to keep children happy until Santa should arrive. They even wrote their Santa letters. Omar said he wanted a dog and a wand (he's a Harry Potter fan) and as an after thought to go with the wand: a cat. Yusuf wanted a remote racing car and another 'big huge truck'. They both had their photos taken with Santa and then we all trooped out to the street where their dad had set up chairs for us curbside to watch the parade.
A foggy, chill November day today, but no rain! We had to wait quite awhile for the parade to start and it was rather cold but the kids were amazingly patient. The streets were jam--packed with people, lots of children of course, but the adults seem to enjoy these events just as much. I know the parade and Santa Claus always brings back a lot of happy childhood memories to me. I was remember as I sat there, how when I was about 9 or 10 we all went by train from Stratford to Toronto to see the Santa Claus parade. I've never forgotten it because I was sick with the flu that day and didn't really enjoy any of it, including sitting on Santa's knee. I still have the photo of me, looking terribly miserable.
My favorite part of the parade is always the pipe bands, those kilted bag-pipers and the tall band Major twirling his long baton. Of course the final float is always jolly old Santa and that reminds me of the famous Santa Claus suit story. When we first came to the Coast after the war, my father, the Pastor of a Baptist Church, organized a wonderful Christmas program for the Sunday School. Santa was due to make a visit, but it seemed there was no Santa suit. So my creative Mom, the expert seamstress, made one out of the big Nazi flag Dad had brought home from overseas. I've written about this in a memoir: "How the Nazi's Helped Santa Claus". That Santa suit lasted years and clothed the annual Santa to entertain the Sunday School kids until I think eventually the moths had a feed on it.
So, this was the first of the festive entertainment and party season. It seems a little early still, but time creeps up quickly. My son, his wife and I always organize a family Christmas party at the bistro where he hosts the Blues jams on Saturdays. We have the invitation to our annual do ready to send out, happening on Dec.2, just a few weeks away. It's always a blast although this year he's had to ask a cover charge in order to pay the band, and we've decided not to provide appetizers for the tables like we usually do. Neither of us are financially able to do anything more than to provide a great place to party and dance and hear some excellent Blues.
I guess in a week or two it'll be time to bring down the boxes of decorations too!
'Tis the Season to be jolly!
It's that time of year again...the funny fat guy in the red flannel suit is here already!
I was invited to join my friend Anne's family today for the annual Santa Claus breakfast at the grand old Fairmont Vancouver Hotel. This meant getting up super early -- even before my bird had roused himself. Off we went with the two little fellows, Charming,MisterYusuf (5)and Omar the Magnificent (7), two of my favorite boyfriends.
It was a lavish buffet breakfast served in the hotel's posh upstairs banquet room with crystal chandeliers, Persian rugs, and beautiful Christmas decorations all around. The food was excellent, though with my upset tummy I was really not able to enjoy it as I should have. The young lads thoroughly enjoyed themselves, occupied happily with the various toys and colouring books and pipe cleaner projects provided to keep children happy until Santa should arrive. They even wrote their Santa letters. Omar said he wanted a dog and a wand (he's a Harry Potter fan) and as an after thought to go with the wand: a cat. Yusuf wanted a remote racing car and another 'big huge truck'. They both had their photos taken with Santa and then we all trooped out to the street where their dad had set up chairs for us curbside to watch the parade.
A foggy, chill November day today, but no rain! We had to wait quite awhile for the parade to start and it was rather cold but the kids were amazingly patient. The streets were jam--packed with people, lots of children of course, but the adults seem to enjoy these events just as much. I know the parade and Santa Claus always brings back a lot of happy childhood memories to me. I was remember as I sat there, how when I was about 9 or 10 we all went by train from Stratford to Toronto to see the Santa Claus parade. I've never forgotten it because I was sick with the flu that day and didn't really enjoy any of it, including sitting on Santa's knee. I still have the photo of me, looking terribly miserable.
My favorite part of the parade is always the pipe bands, those kilted bag-pipers and the tall band Major twirling his long baton. Of course the final float is always jolly old Santa and that reminds me of the famous Santa Claus suit story. When we first came to the Coast after the war, my father, the Pastor of a Baptist Church, organized a wonderful Christmas program for the Sunday School. Santa was due to make a visit, but it seemed there was no Santa suit. So my creative Mom, the expert seamstress, made one out of the big Nazi flag Dad had brought home from overseas. I've written about this in a memoir: "How the Nazi's Helped Santa Claus". That Santa suit lasted years and clothed the annual Santa to entertain the Sunday School kids until I think eventually the moths had a feed on it.
So, this was the first of the festive entertainment and party season. It seems a little early still, but time creeps up quickly. My son, his wife and I always organize a family Christmas party at the bistro where he hosts the Blues jams on Saturdays. We have the invitation to our annual do ready to send out, happening on Dec.2, just a few weeks away. It's always a blast although this year he's had to ask a cover charge in order to pay the band, and we've decided not to provide appetizers for the tables like we usually do. Neither of us are financially able to do anything more than to provide a great place to party and dance and hear some excellent Blues.
I guess in a week or two it'll be time to bring down the boxes of decorations too!
'Tis the Season to be jolly!
Thursday, November 17, 2005
SOMETIMES GOOD THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU'RE DOWN
THURSDAY, Nov. 17
I have felt so sick the last couple of days and horribly depressed. The antibiotics really didn't do anything for me except give me a terrible stomach ache and the runs. Perhaps today my ears are tiny bit unblocked, but certainly not completely. And on top of it, that flu shot I had Monday has made me terribly ill. I don't know how I got through the day yesterday. Had a class at night and coming home waited for ages on the street for buses in the freezing cold.
Today I dragged myself to my last Memoir group as it was our pot-luck-lunch. Afterwards, I didn't enjoy my usual nice walk up Robson browsing in the shops. I was almost doubled over with stomach pain. Came home and went to bed with my birdie nesting in my hair and cooing sweet things to me between kisses. "Pretty bird, pretty bird!"
There was also a welcome phone call from A's daughter inviting me to join her , her sister and mom for lunch next week. They had moved everything from his apartment Monday, a kind of closure for everyone, but still very sad.
I stayed in bed all afternoon and then my friend's daughter phoned and said she had something for me.
She arrived at the door with two laundry baskets full of canned and packaged goods collected for a food drive by the Ishmali scouts which she is involved with. She said she thought I could use them. And I sure could! There was far too much there for little old me though, so I sorted some out and put a few things in the lobby for other tenants, and when my friend George called I invited him over tomorrow to help himself. He's worse off than me, as he hasn't even a job!
Then a nice email from another friend who wants to come and have tea with me tomorrow cause she knows I need a friendly hug.
I'm fortunate to have this network of caring people around me, phone calls and emails from all sorts of friends saying comforting things. Tonight, I dreaded going out to my travel writing class though. I felt so sick. There were only two people there but we had a a good class anyway and afterwards I was offered a ride home. I was so grateful for that!
People really do care and come through for you when you're down and I appreciate this so much. Hopefully I'll start feeling better soon, and get back to my usual perky self.
I have felt so sick the last couple of days and horribly depressed. The antibiotics really didn't do anything for me except give me a terrible stomach ache and the runs. Perhaps today my ears are tiny bit unblocked, but certainly not completely. And on top of it, that flu shot I had Monday has made me terribly ill. I don't know how I got through the day yesterday. Had a class at night and coming home waited for ages on the street for buses in the freezing cold.
Today I dragged myself to my last Memoir group as it was our pot-luck-lunch. Afterwards, I didn't enjoy my usual nice walk up Robson browsing in the shops. I was almost doubled over with stomach pain. Came home and went to bed with my birdie nesting in my hair and cooing sweet things to me between kisses. "Pretty bird, pretty bird!"
There was also a welcome phone call from A's daughter inviting me to join her , her sister and mom for lunch next week. They had moved everything from his apartment Monday, a kind of closure for everyone, but still very sad.
I stayed in bed all afternoon and then my friend's daughter phoned and said she had something for me.
She arrived at the door with two laundry baskets full of canned and packaged goods collected for a food drive by the Ishmali scouts which she is involved with. She said she thought I could use them. And I sure could! There was far too much there for little old me though, so I sorted some out and put a few things in the lobby for other tenants, and when my friend George called I invited him over tomorrow to help himself. He's worse off than me, as he hasn't even a job!
Then a nice email from another friend who wants to come and have tea with me tomorrow cause she knows I need a friendly hug.
I'm fortunate to have this network of caring people around me, phone calls and emails from all sorts of friends saying comforting things. Tonight, I dreaded going out to my travel writing class though. I felt so sick. There were only two people there but we had a a good class anyway and afterwards I was offered a ride home. I was so grateful for that!
People really do care and come through for you when you're down and I appreciate this so much. Hopefully I'll start feeling better soon, and get back to my usual perky self.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
S.A.D. ON A FULL MOON NIGHT
TUESDAY, Nov. 15
The weather has been so gloomy lately with only a few breaks of sunshine. I am not feeling myself, generally sad and maybe it's partly S.A.D. (Seasonal affective disorder) although it's probably just the state of things. I'm still overwhelmed by grief and often at unexpected moments. And for two weeks now my ears have been blocked and aching as a result of sleeping in my windowless bedroom for three nights during those cold rainy nights.
Yesterday I went to the doctor and insisted on some antibiotics. I'm hoping they will cure the problem as I'm tired of feeling like I'm under water and can't hear a thing.
It's been hard to concentrate on my writing. At most I just made a few notes. Last night I workshopped part of the new chapter and today I tried to start the revisions but didn't get much done. The afternoon was made pleasant by a visit from my friend Rosie and her sister and another friend. So we spent a few hours sipping wine and talking about travel, mainly a trip to Wales they plan to make (a destination I love as that's where my Dad was from.)
On my way from the bank today (my only excursion out -- and another reason for feeling depressed: the fact that I'm completely broke again!) I passed by A's apartment and it looks like it is empty now. When I was there Sunday afternoon they were hoping to get it all cleaned out and leave. I hope they remember to keep their promise to stay in touch. It's hard going by there, remembering those last three weeks. And I suppose the memory will stay with me for some time to come.
So, with more rain on the forecast, lots of new snow on the mountain, and cold weather I don't feel much like going out, but have to teach classes the next two evenings. This is the last week for my Memoirs and Prompting the Muse class. One more week and Travel Writing ends.
Then I'm unemployed til the end of January. I'll really have to try and get out of this slump and focus on my writing now I'll have lots of time and little excuse.
The weather has been so gloomy lately with only a few breaks of sunshine. I am not feeling myself, generally sad and maybe it's partly S.A.D. (Seasonal affective disorder) although it's probably just the state of things. I'm still overwhelmed by grief and often at unexpected moments. And for two weeks now my ears have been blocked and aching as a result of sleeping in my windowless bedroom for three nights during those cold rainy nights.
Yesterday I went to the doctor and insisted on some antibiotics. I'm hoping they will cure the problem as I'm tired of feeling like I'm under water and can't hear a thing.
It's been hard to concentrate on my writing. At most I just made a few notes. Last night I workshopped part of the new chapter and today I tried to start the revisions but didn't get much done. The afternoon was made pleasant by a visit from my friend Rosie and her sister and another friend. So we spent a few hours sipping wine and talking about travel, mainly a trip to Wales they plan to make (a destination I love as that's where my Dad was from.)
On my way from the bank today (my only excursion out -- and another reason for feeling depressed: the fact that I'm completely broke again!) I passed by A's apartment and it looks like it is empty now. When I was there Sunday afternoon they were hoping to get it all cleaned out and leave. I hope they remember to keep their promise to stay in touch. It's hard going by there, remembering those last three weeks. And I suppose the memory will stay with me for some time to come.
So, with more rain on the forecast, lots of new snow on the mountain, and cold weather I don't feel much like going out, but have to teach classes the next two evenings. This is the last week for my Memoirs and Prompting the Muse class. One more week and Travel Writing ends.
Then I'm unemployed til the end of January. I'll really have to try and get out of this slump and focus on my writing now I'll have lots of time and little excuse.
Friday, November 11, 2005
REMEMBERING
FRIDAY, Nov 11 REMEMBRANCE DAY
This is the day we remember the veterans of the wars, and pray for peace. On this day I also have a vivid memory of Remembrance day last year. I'd had a call from A. and he wanted to come over to discuss things, mainly the recent death of Yasser Arafat. Then the talk turned to Veterans and the Remembrance Day services that had been held that day. He made some disparaging remarks about this and as I was already in a bad mood due to a head cold and stewing over some grievances I'd had with him in recent weeks, I jumped on him and challenged what he'd said. How dare he put down the veterans! After all, my father was one, he'd been a chaplain at a field hospital in WW2 and was awarded the MBE for his compassionate service. That was probably the first time I challenged A. I was very cross at him and let him know. The evening wasn't going too well, not our usual fascinating conversations. He could be so controlling and critical and I wasn't about to let him get away with it.
Later on, he was using my computer to check his e-mails as I stewed in the living room. There was no way he was going to leave my apartment that night without me confronting him on the issues I was upset by -- his criticism of me, rude behavior and the many times he'd hurt my feelings.
Afterwards we were watching late TV and then before he got up to leave I confronted him. He was shocked. What? Him hurt my feelings? How? When? He'd NEVER do that, he said. After all, he considered me like a member of his family!
How petty things sound when you try to describe them. I felt like an immature school-girl, yet I knew I had to explain what it was (and how often) he had said or done things that really cut me to the core. I chose to bring up an incident that had happened a few weeks before and of course got a full explanation of why it had happened (if he'd explained these things at the time I might have understood -- still the evening in question he really was being thoughtless and rude to me!) He asked me to call to his attention any time there-after that he was rude or critical of me. Did I? Yes. Did it ever change things? No. It was all part of the man's nature, and when I observed his interaction with others, in cluding family members, and got to know them better during his hospital stay, I realized that was the way he was. Yes, he DID treat me like a member of his family. And I see now that perhaps the reason why he felt free to criticize me was because he trusted me and I was his peer.
In the end of course, before he died, he had made amends. But what a shame that he had not done so long before. Yes, I'm sure he had many regrets, just as I do.
And today, remembering that evening a year ago I wish I'd spoken up sooner, said more to him. But we had parted on friendlier terms that evening though there were things that still hung heavy with me and for the next couple of months I was often upset with him. One thing I realize now was this: He was likely ill even back then. For sure from January of 2005.
And that dark cloud he seemed to have enshrouding him so often was perhaps not his own melancholy and negative spirit, but the fatal doom of the cancer that was secretly eating away inside of him.
It's good to write these thoughts down. One must remember not only the happy times, the loving times, but also the difficult times. There are many regrets. He said, that week before he died, that he'd had a feeling for me from the first time he'd seen me, and that he really truly did love me. So why wasn't he able to make more time for me, to spend more of those lovely, rich evenings we used to have, talking and philosophizing?
But...it's time to let go now. A time to remember the man for what he was and what he gave me. There was so much I learned from him. And now he is gone, I feel such a terrible loss.
This is the day we remember the veterans of the wars, and pray for peace. On this day I also have a vivid memory of Remembrance day last year. I'd had a call from A. and he wanted to come over to discuss things, mainly the recent death of Yasser Arafat. Then the talk turned to Veterans and the Remembrance Day services that had been held that day. He made some disparaging remarks about this and as I was already in a bad mood due to a head cold and stewing over some grievances I'd had with him in recent weeks, I jumped on him and challenged what he'd said. How dare he put down the veterans! After all, my father was one, he'd been a chaplain at a field hospital in WW2 and was awarded the MBE for his compassionate service. That was probably the first time I challenged A. I was very cross at him and let him know. The evening wasn't going too well, not our usual fascinating conversations. He could be so controlling and critical and I wasn't about to let him get away with it.
Later on, he was using my computer to check his e-mails as I stewed in the living room. There was no way he was going to leave my apartment that night without me confronting him on the issues I was upset by -- his criticism of me, rude behavior and the many times he'd hurt my feelings.
Afterwards we were watching late TV and then before he got up to leave I confronted him. He was shocked. What? Him hurt my feelings? How? When? He'd NEVER do that, he said. After all, he considered me like a member of his family!
How petty things sound when you try to describe them. I felt like an immature school-girl, yet I knew I had to explain what it was (and how often) he had said or done things that really cut me to the core. I chose to bring up an incident that had happened a few weeks before and of course got a full explanation of why it had happened (if he'd explained these things at the time I might have understood -- still the evening in question he really was being thoughtless and rude to me!) He asked me to call to his attention any time there-after that he was rude or critical of me. Did I? Yes. Did it ever change things? No. It was all part of the man's nature, and when I observed his interaction with others, in cluding family members, and got to know them better during his hospital stay, I realized that was the way he was. Yes, he DID treat me like a member of his family. And I see now that perhaps the reason why he felt free to criticize me was because he trusted me and I was his peer.
In the end of course, before he died, he had made amends. But what a shame that he had not done so long before. Yes, I'm sure he had many regrets, just as I do.
And today, remembering that evening a year ago I wish I'd spoken up sooner, said more to him. But we had parted on friendlier terms that evening though there were things that still hung heavy with me and for the next couple of months I was often upset with him. One thing I realize now was this: He was likely ill even back then. For sure from January of 2005.
And that dark cloud he seemed to have enshrouding him so often was perhaps not his own melancholy and negative spirit, but the fatal doom of the cancer that was secretly eating away inside of him.
It's good to write these thoughts down. One must remember not only the happy times, the loving times, but also the difficult times. There are many regrets. He said, that week before he died, that he'd had a feeling for me from the first time he'd seen me, and that he really truly did love me. So why wasn't he able to make more time for me, to spend more of those lovely, rich evenings we used to have, talking and philosophizing?
But...it's time to let go now. A time to remember the man for what he was and what he gave me. There was so much I learned from him. And now he is gone, I feel such a terrible loss.
Monday, November 07, 2005
A MUSICAL TRIBUTE
MONDAY, November 7.
Yesterday a pena was held for Anibal at a small Chilean restaurant. Luckily my friends has reserved a table as it didn't take long before the place was jam-packed, wall-to-wall with people, mostly from the Chilean community, who had come to pay their respects to A. and his family.
His friend H. had arranged a beautiful musical tribute for him, so there was a variety of Chilean musicians providing a wonderful afternoon/evening of song and instrumental music.
It was a happy event, although there was an aura of sadness at the loss of our dear friend. At one moment, when they were playing one of his favorite songs, I broke down and hid my face on Suzaki's shoulder. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop crying and tried hard not to make a drama so perhaps nobody noticed. I know it will be hard for quite some time, when I go to the LQ and hear those songs. One bolero in particular always gets to me because I have a memory of dancing it with him while he translated the words to the song. I loved to dance with him although it didn't happen that often. I always felt as if we 'fit' somehow. He loved to sing and recite poetry and he was an exceptional dancer. Usually he was just playing the music (percussion) and singing with the band so he didn't always get chance to dance. But I recall a party at my house when he was showing a friend's daughter how to dance the proper steps and it was quite remarkable how good he was at it. I also know he was a musician for all his life, played the guitar and percussion instruments. I have a clear memory of the day he told me he'd lost his guitar at the pawn shop as he didn't have the money to collect it. He was heartbroken as it was part of his life, but he was too proud to ask friends for money to get it, even his best friend H. If I had been able to for sure I'd have helped out, but he knew that I was usually as 'poor' as he was.
Music was his life, as was literature (writing and poetry). So it seemed fitting that H. would have arranged this musical tribute. I think we could all feel his presence there, see his dazzling smile and although there was no room to dance in that little cafe, surely he was dancing and singing as he watched us celebrate his life.
Yesterday a pena was held for Anibal at a small Chilean restaurant. Luckily my friends has reserved a table as it didn't take long before the place was jam-packed, wall-to-wall with people, mostly from the Chilean community, who had come to pay their respects to A. and his family.
His friend H. had arranged a beautiful musical tribute for him, so there was a variety of Chilean musicians providing a wonderful afternoon/evening of song and instrumental music.
It was a happy event, although there was an aura of sadness at the loss of our dear friend. At one moment, when they were playing one of his favorite songs, I broke down and hid my face on Suzaki's shoulder. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to stop crying and tried hard not to make a drama so perhaps nobody noticed. I know it will be hard for quite some time, when I go to the LQ and hear those songs. One bolero in particular always gets to me because I have a memory of dancing it with him while he translated the words to the song. I loved to dance with him although it didn't happen that often. I always felt as if we 'fit' somehow. He loved to sing and recite poetry and he was an exceptional dancer. Usually he was just playing the music (percussion) and singing with the band so he didn't always get chance to dance. But I recall a party at my house when he was showing a friend's daughter how to dance the proper steps and it was quite remarkable how good he was at it. I also know he was a musician for all his life, played the guitar and percussion instruments. I have a clear memory of the day he told me he'd lost his guitar at the pawn shop as he didn't have the money to collect it. He was heartbroken as it was part of his life, but he was too proud to ask friends for money to get it, even his best friend H. If I had been able to for sure I'd have helped out, but he knew that I was usually as 'poor' as he was.
Music was his life, as was literature (writing and poetry). So it seemed fitting that H. would have arranged this musical tribute. I think we could all feel his presence there, see his dazzling smile and although there was no room to dance in that little cafe, surely he was dancing and singing as he watched us celebrate his life.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
MUSIC ON A RAINY AFTERNOON
THURSDAY, Nov 3
It's been a rough week what with the window-smashing incident (no, it's not fixed yet!) and the funeral on Tuesday which I managed to get through quite well. The rain has been pelting down (like the sky is crying along with me) and it's cold. Somehow the plastic and blanket over the window has kept the draught out but so far these incompetent landlords haven't fixed it. I'm preparing to take action!
Today I had a Memoir class downtown. Patrick met me and we joined a couple of the women for coffee and sandwiches afterwards. Then Bee suggested we go back to her place so that Patrick could play the piano for us. She lives in a luxury apartment near the Park and there is a large lobby room with a grand piano that nobody ever plays. So MJ, Bee, Patrick and I went there and while he gave us an impromptu piano recital we lounged on the posh setees and enjoyed! Meanwhile the rain was pouring down outside while we listened to the beautiful improvised concert that Patrick performed. He 's amazing.
Then we trooped up to Bee's posh 11th floor apartment and sat around drinking wine and talking for awhile longer. Afterwards Patrick and I walked through the park and along the seawall back to get our bus. It was wet and cold but rather mystical, with a thick haze over the Bay so the ships anchored out there were barely visible, like ghost ships, as was the skyline across the Bay, and the water was so still it appeared as though we were looking down on clouds.
I was half drenched by the time I got home, but it was a pleasant afternoon, and something I needed. I'm feeling so broken-hearted, trying not to dwell on the great loss I feel, and diverting myself whenever I can. Unfortunately, I'm coming down with a chest cold, likely because I've been 'down' myself. So I must try to doctor myself a bit as I don't want to be sick. There's still more events happening this weekend, including the pena for Anibal at the Chilean restaurant.
I wouldn't want to miss that. And the lady phoned from the tropical bird sanctuary saying they have a bird for me so I hope that soon I will have another little feathered companion to keep me company.
It's been a rough week what with the window-smashing incident (no, it's not fixed yet!) and the funeral on Tuesday which I managed to get through quite well. The rain has been pelting down (like the sky is crying along with me) and it's cold. Somehow the plastic and blanket over the window has kept the draught out but so far these incompetent landlords haven't fixed it. I'm preparing to take action!
Today I had a Memoir class downtown. Patrick met me and we joined a couple of the women for coffee and sandwiches afterwards. Then Bee suggested we go back to her place so that Patrick could play the piano for us. She lives in a luxury apartment near the Park and there is a large lobby room with a grand piano that nobody ever plays. So MJ, Bee, Patrick and I went there and while he gave us an impromptu piano recital we lounged on the posh setees and enjoyed! Meanwhile the rain was pouring down outside while we listened to the beautiful improvised concert that Patrick performed. He 's amazing.
Then we trooped up to Bee's posh 11th floor apartment and sat around drinking wine and talking for awhile longer. Afterwards Patrick and I walked through the park and along the seawall back to get our bus. It was wet and cold but rather mystical, with a thick haze over the Bay so the ships anchored out there were barely visible, like ghost ships, as was the skyline across the Bay, and the water was so still it appeared as though we were looking down on clouds.
I was half drenched by the time I got home, but it was a pleasant afternoon, and something I needed. I'm feeling so broken-hearted, trying not to dwell on the great loss I feel, and diverting myself whenever I can. Unfortunately, I'm coming down with a chest cold, likely because I've been 'down' myself. So I must try to doctor myself a bit as I don't want to be sick. There's still more events happening this weekend, including the pena for Anibal at the Chilean restaurant.
I wouldn't want to miss that. And the lady phoned from the tropical bird sanctuary saying they have a bird for me so I hope that soon I will have another little feathered companion to keep me company.
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
AN EMOTIONALLY SHATTERING TIME
TUESDAY, November 1
Yesterday was one of the hardest days yet -- a day when the full realization came that A. is gone and I'll never see him again (except in my dreams and memories). We went to the viewing and that was a little easier than I'd thought because really, it wasn't him there -- it was a thin shell of a stranger, not the vibrant, smiling A. that we all knew. But on an off all day and later during the night I felt devastated.
Friends came over for the evening -- a pot-luck Hallowe'en party and video night (that great movie "Ed Wood", so appropriate for the night.) Fun and having good friends with me helped distract me from my grief. Then, something absolutely shattering happened.
It was 2.30 a.m. I was just checking my email before going to bed. Suddenly a loud BANG! which sounded to me like a gunshot, and my whole bedroom window shattered into hundreds of pieces of sharp glass shards scattering everywhere. I jumped up immediately and dialed
911 for the police, then went to look outside. I'd heard a woman's voice shouting and footsteps running at the time the window broke, but no cars. When the police came, they asked if I'd noticed anything. Til then I'd been convinced it was a gunshot. But when we looked there was a brick, right behind my computer chair, and the whole bedroom was full of shattered glass.
How that brick didn't hit me on the head, I don't know. And if I'd been in my bed I would have been covered with glass shards. Somebody was watching over me, that's for sure!
We believe it was people from across the street. And today I found where the brick came from, broken off the ornamental walkway in front of my building. Whether or not it was a case of mistaken identity of my apartment I don't know. I only know I was darn lucky to have escaped injury.
So all through the night I kept waking, and every time I woke I was in tears. I cried the whole night through, couldn't sleep properly, not only because I was thinking of A. but because of the scary incident of the shattered window.
Today we attended the funeral. I was scared I wouldn't be able to emotionally stand it. But I surprised myself. No tears. (Maybe I cried them all out last night?) The funeral was tasteful and comforting. Then we all went to his apartment for a little wake with lots of food and music. So this day went well for everyone, just the way he would have wanted it.
And tonight Patrick and I are going to the theatre to see a play directed by a friend. A good way to relax and end these emotionally shattering times.
Yesterday was one of the hardest days yet -- a day when the full realization came that A. is gone and I'll never see him again (except in my dreams and memories). We went to the viewing and that was a little easier than I'd thought because really, it wasn't him there -- it was a thin shell of a stranger, not the vibrant, smiling A. that we all knew. But on an off all day and later during the night I felt devastated.
Friends came over for the evening -- a pot-luck Hallowe'en party and video night (that great movie "Ed Wood", so appropriate for the night.) Fun and having good friends with me helped distract me from my grief. Then, something absolutely shattering happened.
It was 2.30 a.m. I was just checking my email before going to bed. Suddenly a loud BANG! which sounded to me like a gunshot, and my whole bedroom window shattered into hundreds of pieces of sharp glass shards scattering everywhere. I jumped up immediately and dialed
911 for the police, then went to look outside. I'd heard a woman's voice shouting and footsteps running at the time the window broke, but no cars. When the police came, they asked if I'd noticed anything. Til then I'd been convinced it was a gunshot. But when we looked there was a brick, right behind my computer chair, and the whole bedroom was full of shattered glass.
How that brick didn't hit me on the head, I don't know. And if I'd been in my bed I would have been covered with glass shards. Somebody was watching over me, that's for sure!
We believe it was people from across the street. And today I found where the brick came from, broken off the ornamental walkway in front of my building. Whether or not it was a case of mistaken identity of my apartment I don't know. I only know I was darn lucky to have escaped injury.
So all through the night I kept waking, and every time I woke I was in tears. I cried the whole night through, couldn't sleep properly, not only because I was thinking of A. but because of the scary incident of the shattered window.
Today we attended the funeral. I was scared I wouldn't be able to emotionally stand it. But I surprised myself. No tears. (Maybe I cried them all out last night?) The funeral was tasteful and comforting. Then we all went to his apartment for a little wake with lots of food and music. So this day went well for everyone, just the way he would have wanted it.
And tonight Patrick and I are going to the theatre to see a play directed by a friend. A good way to relax and end these emotionally shattering times.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
