HISTORY IS MADE ON THE PIG FARM

Almost every day I ride the bus through the Downtown East Side where the missing women used to live and ply their trade on those desolate mean streets. I remember a time when I was a twelve-year old when I used to go down to that now infamous corner every weekend to the Carnegie Centre public library and museum. And later, when I was a teenager, fresh out of high school working as a copy-runner for the newspaper. I used to walk through there nearly every day, often going on errands to the police department. Those were the days when I wanted to be a crime reporter.

Now that area is so run-down and dangerous it is heartbreaking to see what is going on there. Buildings have been allowed to become run down to the point where they are uninhabitable, the homeless crowd the streets: cast aways, drug addicts, street people of all kinds. It's a blight on the city.
But what is being done to solve the problem? The BC Government just proposed $365 million for emergency shelters, rent supports and housing up to the year 2010 when the Olympics is going to be held here. They've also increased the income assistance by $50 a month.

Sounds good on paper, but the facts are "shelters" are just that. They are not 'homes'. And the extra $50 awarded to welfare recipients to cover expenses hardly covers what rentals are these days. This totals their monthly income to $375 a month plus support increases of $235. Total $610. for an employable person. Rents are at least $420 a month (and that's for a roach and bed-bug ridden room in a downtown east side hotel). That doesn't account for food, bus fares and daily living costs. And now the downtown low-cost hotels are evicting tenants so they can 'renovate' and raise the rents higher in order to cash in on the influx of people expected during the Olympics. This leaves an even more serious lack of affordable housing for the DTES residents creating more homelessness, more despair, more women like those who went missing, cast out onto the streets vulnerable to those who prey on them.

BACK ON THE PIG FARM:
FEB 23/07
The trial of the pig farmer continued this week with more disturbing evidence. The jury was warned about the troubling evidence and so in writing it, I will try to report it with as much tact as possible, without the graphic details.
The police officer who cried on the stand last week had good reason to shed some tears, as we all should over this hideous crime. When she investigated two garbage pails tucked away behind a wall and the pigpen, they were found to contain two halves of a human skull plus a hand and foot identified as belonging to victim Mona Wilson. There were also buckets containing animal remains. Pickton had bragged to an undercover cop that he disposed of bodies the same way as he did the pig remains ...by sending them to the rendering plant. (**alarms went out when, early in the investigation, police visited the rendering plant the Picktons did business with.) There were also freezers in the slaughterhouse containing butchered pigs.

The following day's testimony included reports of the police finding more inhalers and other papers belonging to Sereena Abotsway, a variety of saws, blades, knives, a nail gun and cartridges. There was also evidence (personal belongings ) found at the "Piggy Palace" nightclub the brothers operated on the property, and in parked cars, and near the house occupied by Mr Pig Man's brother as well as on some other property belonging to the brothers. They also found sex toys hidden under a mattress and in the closet of the brother’s bedroom.
More gruesome evidence was found in freezers.

Can it get much worse?
A CSI expert who was working at the scene made some very disturbing discoveries in two buckets in a freezer which contained the remains of Andrea Joesbury and Seerena Abotsway. The hand bone of Georgina Papin was found under the ground in the pigpen and Brenda Wolfe’s jawbone was found in a trough outside the slaughterhouse.
These remains all belonged to six of the twenty six women Pickton is charged with murdering. Because the electricity had failed on the farm, the detective had looked into the freezers where they found the thawed remains in a state of decomposition.

The detective related his findings to an unsolved case in Mission several years before where a half a skull had been found, sawed vertically just the same as those found in the freezer and pails on Pickton’s farm. The skull’s DNA matched that of a heel and rib bone found on the farm. So far this woman is unidentified.

The findings (there were many more) were so overwhelming the CSI expert ordered a massive search of the farm, hiring a small army of archaeology and anthropology students who manned conveyor belts looking for unusual items in the sifted soil.

The farm was divided into 216 grids, each measuring 20 sq. miles which were excavated to retrieve 383,000 cubic meters of soil during the search, which continued for more than 20 months. It became the largest crime scene investigation in Canadian history.

IS WILLIE WILY OR A DUMB YOKEL?

Is Willie Pickton smart enough to plot the serial killings he is accused of committing? His defence argues he is slow-witted and couldn't possibly elude police for all that time. The Crown alleges he is cagy and smart. While the defence has portrayed him as "the village idiot" the police interrogation team maintains this is not true.

"He was playing games with me -- taunting me," said one of the RCMP officers, chief invesitagtor. He said Pickton suggested there were others involved but didn't provide details although he adamantly denies his brother or the Hells Angels were involved. He even offered to cut a deal with the police if they'd take down their fences and get off his property.

The question is: How 'dumb' do you have to be to know right from wrong? The guy is definitely not an imbecile. It will be interesting if and when they present a psychiatric assessment. My guess is he's a wily yokel. And I still don't believe he acted alone.

TUESDAY, Feb 20
Is the Pig Farmer smart enough to have carried out all the crimes he is accused of? Or is he a wily killer who acted alone? His defence team argues that he is mentally too slow and unsophisticated to baffle police for all those years.
"I'm just a pig farmer," Pickton told police. "I ain't a college graduate. I'm just a plain little farm boy."
His sister has told police he is not 'slow' and is good mechanically. He didn't do well academically and quit school at 16 to work on the farm. His brother handles the business end of things on the farm.
He has been described as a lot like "Gabby", the hick sidekick in the old Hopalong Cassidy/Roy Rogers westerns. The defence hast tried to portray him as a yokel who just happens to be a millionaire. (Across from his property are rows of modern townhouses, so the farm property is valuable).
He certainly didn't live a life of luxury. In fact, he lived in filth and squalor. He was dirty and unkempt when arrested and refused to take a shower.
Yesterday a police officer who herself raises pigs, cried when describing the condition of the animals she found inside a stock trailer on the farm. One pig had aborted a litter and couldn't stand, another had a rotted foot. Other pigs inside the trailer were in distress with no food or water.
When the slaughterhouse was searched several bones were dug up and identified as human bones. More guns were also found in a secreted loft in the workshop along with jewellery, a wallet, leg restraints and handcuffs. Some of the DNA found matched that of victim Brenda Wolfe. Some of the personal women's items found may have belong to either of two women who had lived at the farm with Pickton before his arrest. There were also a couple of notes left to him by these women. One note said: "Willy, have a bath please. It's been six days. P.U.!"

A NEIGHBOURHOOD WALK

SUNDAY, Feb 18

Here it is, Chinese New Years (Gung Hay Fat Choy!) and I totally forgot, so I didn't go downtown to watch the parade in Chinatown. Instead, I went for a two hour neighbourhood stroll.

I have a long connection with certain parts of this neighbourhood, from my youth, through the '70's and the late '80's. So each time I go out walking, usually exploring different routes each time, I find things that remind me of the past. Today was one of those days, for sure!

This time I walked north a few blocks to where the street curves around along high above the harbour front. At the end of Nanaimo where the street turns, there's a little park with two benches where you can sit and contemplate the view of the docks, inlet and mountains. There's a stairway leading down to the waterfront road. I have a memory of coming up that stairway in the middle of the night back in the late '70's. My friends and I had gone partying to the Waterfront Corrall, a night spot owned by some Greek people who later became my benefactors in the village in Greece. As was the usual habit in those wild, crazy days, I'd accepted an invitation by a sailor to go party on his ship. But when I got there it wasn't a ship, it was Polish (or maybe Russian) fishing vessle. When I came to my senses I realized this was all a very risky, stupid idea so I beat a hasty retreats. Fortunately the boat was docked right in front of where this stairway went up so I climbed up, not knowning where in the world I was exactly. Fortunately it was near the main street where I could easily get a bus home. I lived away out in the suburbs at the time so it took me awhile, but I got home safe. I never did anything quite that dumb again.

Today when I ran across the stairway, and looked down to see where the fishing boats were docked, the whole scenario came back to me. I have to laugh about it now, but at the time it wasn't so funny or so smart. (Not that any harm befell me. Usually those sailors were not as dangerous as you'd think.)

Anyway, I continued walking all down the road until I finally came to the lovely seaside park at New Brighton. I used to ride my bike down there along the waterfront, but you're not allowed on that road now because of the harbour security. So I was pleased to find the Port Side bike route which is easy to reach from my house. Once the weather is a bit warmer and I get my bike on the road I will plan a little outing to the park.

I enjoyed looking at all the lovely heritage and modern houses in the area. There are some real gems on the back streets. I've been taking different routes around the neighbourhood and finding a lot of hidden parks and interesting things to see. There is one little park up on a knoll overlooking the inlet and a beautiful building that apprantly used to be an orphanage, then the juvenile detention centre and is now restored and serves as a hospice.

I ended up walking back too far but it took me past the old apartment where my friend George used to live in the '70's. My girlfriend and I spent a lot of time there listening to Motown music, dancing, toking and having fun with George and his friend Danny. Then, come home I passed the street where I used to live for awhile after I returned from living in Greece in 1987. I had moved in with a friend but it didn't work out. I was in a pretty low frame of mind when I first returned from Greece, homesick for my life there, grieving about the breakup of my relationship with a Greek man, having such a hard time relating to life here (a major case of cutlture shock) and readjusting. Eventually I moved out of her place and got a beautiful suite with a harbour view in the same building where I lived for a year until I decided to return to Greece.

So it turned into quite an adventurous afternoon. Sorry I missed the festivities in Chinatown, but I'll watch some of it on TV tonight. The neighbourhood walk was well worth the effort!

WHAT WILL THEY DO WITH THE PIG FARM?

I was at a friend's birthday yesterday, a room full of women having a lovely celebration with a delicious meal of Korean food prepared by my friend's neighbour. At some point during the evening the talk shifted from laughter and joking, to the serious and shocking disclosures of the Pig Farm. I haven't talked to one person yet who does not believe Pickton acted alone, or who does not believe that something more sinister, like snuff parties, was going on at the farm.
The question was raised as to what will be done with the acreage on which the pig farm was located. Over the two year investigation the entire property has been ploughed up and sifted in the search for remains and DNA, and all the buildings are now destroyed for the same reason. Surrounding this choice piece of property (some 30 acres or so) are housing developments. Will the property be sold to a new developer? Who would want to live in a house built on that land? The Pig Farm was a killing ground, a place of evil, and is no doubt now haunted by the souls of those women who tragically died there.

I got thinking about this question today, and my solution would be to turn the property into a memorial park. Plant a flowering tree for each of the 60 missing or dead women. Make it into a place of beautiful new growth and rebirth, a place where family and friends could come and pay their respects to their unfortunate loved ones. Why should the Picktons be allowed to profit from this place? It will be interesting, in the future, to see exactly what becomes of it.

WHY WAS WILLIE KEEPING WOMEN'S CLOTHING AND COSMETICS IN HIS CLOSET?

SATURDAY, FEB 17
Apparently when the police searched the Pig Farmer's trailer, they found many items belonging to women scattered inside -- including personal possessions that may have belonged to some of the six women he is accused of killing.

A jacket was found with papers in the pocket and on one was written the address of the hotel where Andrea Joesbury lived. They also found a strand of her hair on a pillow case.
There was a silver sports bag which contained an asthma inhaler made out to Sereena Abotsway and shoes, 3 books and a Bible. Another brown leather jacket contained the DNA of Brenda Wolfe, another victim. And the DNA of three of the other women were found on various items. There were cosmetics, pieces of clothing, a notebook, jewellery and other items.

Willie claims he didn't do it. Then how did all these incriminating pieces of evidence get in his trailer?

A MEMORIAL TO THE LOST WOMEN

THURSDAY, Feb 15
On Valentine's Day, marches were held across Canada in remembrance of the women (mostly aboriginal) who have gone missing or died on the streets. These marches have been held for the last 16 years. This year, in Vancouver, it was especially poignant as the families and friends of the missing women, (some who the Pig Farmer is charged with murdering) rallied and marched to every place on the streets of the Downtown Est Side where these women were last seen, or some places where other women had died. They placed a rose in each spot, sang healing chants, burned smudge and said words of remembrance.
The president of the United Native Nations pointed out the lack of support for the people living in the streets. "The city raised $8 million to restore the trees lost in the winter storms, but do nothing to raise the level of poverty that people in the DTES are facing." True. And as for the missing women, in spite of the many tips the police had received over the years, because these women were mostly aboriginal and street women, nothing was done.
There is currently another disturbing pattern of disappearances along Highway 16 in the north, now known as the "Highway of Tears", where many women, mostly aboriginal in origina and aged 15 to early twenties, have vanished after being seen hitchhiking along the highway. So far, the RCMP have come up with nothing.

Meanwhile, what went on in the Pig Sty?
Well, it seems Willie really WAS living in a pig sty, at least according to the police reports and photos released to the media. In addition to massive amounts of blood found there ("a blood-letting" as described by one of the experts investigating), the mobile trailer home where he lived was littered with boxes, pop bottles, food containers and lots of other visible junk, and incriminating items found by police which included loaded guns, gun casings, s#x toys and articles belonging to missing women. He even had the stuffed head of his beloved horse Goldie mounted on a wall.

In the slaughterhouse next to the trailer more horrendous findings. Evidence will be presented that the partial remains of one woman was found in the building. The Crown has a witness who will testify she saw Pickton butchering a woman there. Pretty gruesome stuff!

Police have done an astounding amount of DNA testing. More than 200,000 samples from the case have been sent to forensic labs across Canada. There are still more exhibits to be tested. (The search of the farm began in Feb. 2002 and finished Nov. 2003) The extra workload created by this case required additional staff to be hired at RCMP labs across Canada.

THREE POEMS FOR VALENTINES DAY

"You are taken in the net of my music, my love,
and my nets of music are wide as the sky.
My soul is born on the shore of your eyes of mourning,
In your eyes of mourning the land of dreams began."

Pablo Neruda "In My Sky at Twilight."

THESE POEMS ARE FOR YOU, MY LOVE...

APHRODITE’S ARROW
A quick-silver spark
like a diamond’s prism
strikes me.
Aphrodite’s silver arrow
turns this cafe bar
into the galaxy.
Reality escapes me.
Fleeting,
swift,
it hits its mark,
sets aflame
the dark night
of my heart.
Written one night in the Latin Quarter

CAPTIVE AUDIENCE
a poem for Anibal

I sat , a disciple at the feet of the Master
I listened to your stories
of shanty towns, poverty
President Allende dying in his bombed-out palace
Victor Jara, the musician/poet,
his hands crushed,
beaten to death in the Stadium
because he sang for the people.
I learned about social injustice
from you.
You taught me well.
Urged by your political passion
I joined marches,
raised my voice with the populace:
Peace, not War!
You captivated me,
I was your willing audience.
Your smile lit up my world
like a blaze of Chilean sun.
I absorbed every story you told.
Hundreds of Chileans died you said,
tortured, beaten,
some dropped from helicopters into the sea.
Thousands disappeared.
You were imprisoned,
Ran for your life across the mountains
into Argentina
disguised as a priest.
Over glasses of Chilean wine
red as blood
you told how you had to flee again,
this time on a plane bound for Canada.
I shared your anguish
though I could never truly experience your pain.
Exiled, torn from your roots
like a tree blown down in a fierce gale
this stormy life of yours
enveloped me,
I was swept into the vortex of your melancholy,
submerged under the waves of your nostalgia,
drowned in the sea of your despair.

Written one night in the Latin Quarter.

THE GARDEN

In the arbour

under a tangle of vines

the artist wields his brush.

Strokes the canvas lightly

spreading colours: pink and lavender and yellow.

Flower petals take shape.

A garden is revealed.

I remember the touch of your fingers on my arm,

soft as a brush stroke

awakening a garden in my heart.

Written August 2005 in Van Duesen Gardens.

Anibal died October 28, 2005

"We will be friends until the end of time," he said. Yes, we will, my friend, and when I hear the bolero play, I'll dance with you and remember...

"Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince,

And flights of angels sing thee to thy rest."

William Shakespeare "Hamlet"

BE A RAT: GET RICH QUICK

THURSDAY, Feb 8
More on the Pig Farm trial.
The School Board has offered advice - a set of guidlines fo schools should "difficult conversations" arise regarding the Pickton trial. Apparantly the school board has received reports that there are concerns that the media coverage of the case may cause anxiety in children.

The key message is for parents and teachers to limit exposure for all ages of students. Media outlets have been sent letters by at least one school requesting the journalists act "responsibly and ethically" when reporting the trial.

So far, from what I've seen in papers and on radio/TV, the press is not going over-board in their coverage. In fact, on some stations now you don't really hear a thing about it and on both TV and in the papers there are warnings posted in case of graphic details. Frankly I can't see how any young students would bother reading the papers and if the parent's don't want them hearing the news there's an 'off' switch. I think it's good to 'protect' kids, but they are being exposed daily to all kinds of violence, not just what's in the news during this trial.
Even I don't watch TV that much because I get tired of all the shooting and violent scenes. And what is being shown at the movies these days is downright gross. But I guess because this is 'real life', I suppose some people think it's going to damage their kids to hear about it.

Meanwhile...
Be a rat and get rich.
A tip from a friend of Pickton started what has become the largest criminal investigation in Canadian history. A rookie constable had befriended an former employee of the farm in hopes of getting info on drug trade. Instead, the informant tipped off the cops about illegal firearms on the farm. However, when the police went to the farm armed with a search warrant, they found much more than they had expected. Besides finding a gym bag containing a respirator belonging to one of the missing women, in an attic or loft room on the farm, the police found a collection of sex toys, a loaded gun (with one spent bullet) with a dildo attached, that had the DNA of another missing woman as well as Pickton's, and a notebook belonging to another missing woman.

The gun search was called off and thus began the biggest investigation in Canadian crime history.

The informant was paid more than $1400 for his tips but also asked for money for a weekend vacation, rent, as well as $100,000 in reward money offered for clues into the missing women's case.

In more Canadian crime news...I read that Karla Homolka, famous for being part of another horrifying multiple murder case, who plea bargained and ratted on her partner in order to get a reduced sentence, is now living in Montreal and has just given birth to a baby. Considering she was a main player in the rape, torture and killings of 3 young girls including her own sister, it boggles the mind to imagine her as a mother. God bless the child!

FROM PIG FARMER TO FAME

This is the third week of the Pig Farm trial. For the last two days the court has watched and heard a video-taped conversation between the Pig Farmer and an undercover agent who had been planted in his cell under the pretext of being held for an attempted murder. Some of what transpired painted a rather pathetic picture of Pickton, when he discussed his life and childhood, but then it got more graphic and chilling implications were revealed. Tomorrow the undercover cop will be called to the stand to testify. But what the jury and court audience saw so far seemed pretty damning.


FEBRUARY 5
THIRD WEEK OF THE TRIAL
There was testimony from the undercover cop who shared a cell with the Pig Man when he first got arrested. Pig Man chatted, relaxed and seemed to like the idea of being 'famous'. He called himself a 'legend'. The UC said he was filthy, stinky and unshaven and talked a lot, reminiscing about life on the farm etc. He was quite astounded that they were laying 50 charges against him.
And he made jokes about it.
"You've heard of Port Coquitlam? Now they call it Pork Coquitlam. Heard of mad cow disease? Now we have pigs eating people."

FEBRUARY 6
"I'M A LEGEND!"
The last two days of evidence presented at the Pig Farmer's trial have been a video-taped conversation he had in the cell with an undercover cop posing as someone who was up on an attempted murder charge. Interesting the way the orchestrate those things. Mr. Pig Man appears filthy, unshaven and apparently stinky (he'd been picked up on the job) and chats with the UA as he relaxes on his bunk. Some of the conversation was about his life from childhood to present, how he's a hardworking pig farmer. "I've worked hard all my life," he says."An here I'm in jail for murder, murder one."

He seemed to like the idea of being 'famous'. Says people know him all the way to Hong Kong. He's as famous as Sadaam. He calls himself 'a legend'.

He told the UCA that back in '97 he got charged with attempted murder after a prostitute slashed him trying to steal his money. He says his testimony was true but hers wasn't so no charges ever went to court. "Now I got a murder charge," he says. "Two murder charges."
The UCA tells him he should have got a plane ticket and flown away. "I don't know what to do," says Pickton. He goes on to say his brother warned him he had to 'cover his own ass'.
"I'm stupid," he says. "I'm not up with the times."

Later, in another conversation with the UCA, he holds up his hand to indicate a 5 and 0. "50". He says he wanted to get to "The Big 50". And later says, "I was going to let it die down, then do another 25 to make it 75."
When the UCA suggested that the best way to get rid of a body is to dump it in the river, Pickton replied: “I did better than that. ..A rendering plant.”
He admitted to ‘getting sloppy’ though, and not cleaning up properly. He called himself “Mr Sloppy.”

WHAT'S NEW WITH THE PIG-TOWN TRIAL?

Somebody has apparently already made a movie about this case. "Killer Pickton" was recently viewed at the AFI Festival in Hollywood. How tasteless is that? The film will not be allowed to be shown here in Canada, for obvious reasons. Some people will go to any lengths to exploit and sensationalize before the trial had even begun!

Meanwhile, although the case has slipped to the back pages of the press these days and isn't even reported on TV, the rumours still abound. People are shocked by it all, but still you hear those persistant stories about the supposed snuff films being made out there. It's going to be interesting to see who is brought forward to testify. I have no doubts that the police have a lot of surprises up their sleeves. At this point, t hough, it will take a lot to really 'surprise' as it seems certain in everyone's mind that this is what was going on out there and the likely Willie is being made a scape goat by the others who were involved. It is very doubtful that this was the work of one evil man.

Apparently a week before Pickton was arrested and charged with two counts of first degree murder (Feb 2002) officers had already arrested two women in connection with the sex-trade workers disappearances and murders. A third person, male friend of Pickton, was arrested a year later during Pickton's preliminary hearings. The three were investigated but no charges laid. The two women were mentioned during the interrogation. The interrogator lied to Pickton and told him one of the women was trying to blackmail him. It will be interesting to see what happens. Will they be called in as material witnesses? Has there been some sort of plea bargaining? Were they let go for spilling the beans or what?
Most of the media circus has left town now and fewer people have been attending the trial. The focus is mainly on the court proceedings. Meanwhile, women from the Downtown East Side Women's Centre and the aboriginal community gather on the on square outside the court house to sing songs of remembrance and healing prayers.

FEBRUARY 3
The Pig Farmer seems to have been sent to the back pages these days. There has been little media hype or even news the last few days. Just the cross-examining of the interrogator. I think, too, that people had enough of the horror that was reported during that first week, so the media has toned things down for now. I have no doubt, though, that there will be more shocking revelations very soon.

DID PIG MAN REALLY TRY TO OUTSMART THE COPS?

OK, how intelligent do you have to be to understand that killing a bunch of women and hideously dismembering them and disposing of their bodies is not going to go undiscovered and might lead to life imprisonment or, in some places, the death penalty. From the first day, the judge addressed the jury and told them to be aware of Pickton's responses, body language and words. Yesterday his defence lawyer pointed out his 'intelligence'. The interrogators noted weird ways he had of speaking or perceiving things. Evidently the inheritance he got from his parent's was put in a trust fund to be supervised by his siblings. His brother, it is said, 'cared for him.' Another question: If that's the case, how come said brother failed to notice body parts in the farm freezer, strewn around the property and bone fragments mixed with all the top soil the two of them were selling? It's obvious we are not dealing with a rocket scientists here. But come on! Willie isn't exactly a drooling idiot. If he's guilty he knew exactly what he was doing. And if he isn't guilty he knows damn well who did it. For sure, he's been playing games with the cops.

WEDNESDAY, Jan 31
OK, it's pretty clear that Mr Pig Man isn't necessarily operating with all the lights on. But, it seems he tried to outsmart the interrogators and according to them, he did a pretty good job of it. Although his defence lawyer brought up the question of his intelligence, the cops say he has a 'phenomenal' memory and a selective memory as well. There was more talk about other people being involved. The name Hells Angels even came up, though they evidently couldn't make a real connection. And lots of questioning about the role his brother had, who lived on the same farm. Pickton claims his brother was trying to protect him. Doesn't that implicate the brother? The two brothers and a sister inherited the farm and according the paper, Pig Man is a millionaire. But is he really that smart that he can 'outsmart' the police?

MORE INTERROGATION

I wonder what it must be like to be one of the interrogators. And as one of them said "This isn't TV." It took years of investigations, leaving no stone unturned, and a great cost. This is probably going to be the most (to date) historically prominent murder trial in Canadian history. What a way to get noteriety!
SATURDAY, Jan 27
During the 11 hour interrogations, in spite of telling Pickton they had linked him "to tons" of the missing women as well as implicating DNA and other evidence, he keeps denying he is guilty, even denying he knew the two women whose DNA and blood was found in his mobile home, in his bed and some mixed with his own DNA.
"They're not going to find nothin' there," he insists.
The interrogator asks who he is prepared to take down with him, such as his brother.
"What's he got to do with it?" Pickton asks
"So long as you lie, he's attached to your lie," the interrogator says.
Later, when another interogator takes a gentler line of questioning, he says "I'm dead before I start. I should be on death row."
She tells him the most important thing was to give the missing women's families the closure they so desperately need. Pickton just snickers and says, "I'm dead."
In another part of the interrogation he is asked about Gary Ridgway, the so-called Green River Killer who targeted sex-trade workers.
"He may be the only person in North America who's killed more than you," the interrogator says (Ridgway killed about 42 women.)
Pickton laughs and shakes his head.
"Why are you laughing?" the interrogator asks. "Let me ask you a question. Do you know how many people you've killed?"
"I don't know," Pickton says
Pickton wasn't a drinker or drug taker so should remember exactly how many victims he had. "Was it a big deal to you? Or just like killing one of the pigs?"
"What do you want me to say?" Pickton asks.
Later..."There'll be other people coming down too," he says.
"Men or women?"
"A man...there'll be guns involved too,"Pickton says.
"You're having fun playing cat and mouse with me, Willie," says the interrogator.
In fact, in the interrogation on a number of occasions Pickton came close to admitting everything, including how 'sloppy' he'd been in not cleaning up and how he'd had one more planned but botched the chance.
***This interrogation took place before the body parts were found in the freezer.

THE HEART OF DARKNESS

"Often an entire city has suffered because of an evil man."
Hesiod 700 BC "Works and Days." 1, 265

Why am I reporting all this? Many people I've spoken to (men included) won't read the newspaper reports or listen to the gory details on the TV or radio news. I notice that this week things seem to be toned down somewhat, giving some respite from the initial onslaught of what had been revealed during the eleven hour interrogation last week. It won't end there though. And why I (who won't attend horror movies and is scared stiff even by Dracula and Frankenstien stories) continue to write about it is a puzzle. Well, it's mainly because of my interest in the judicial system (how can a defense lawyer defend a creature like this fairly?) and the workings of the dark hearts and minds of the person who would carry out such carnage on innocent people. What compels a person to behave in such an inhuman way? Or is it 'inhuman'? What about all the other mass killings that are going on in this world (the bombings, the slaughter of innocents in far away countries like Africa, Iraq, Afghanistan...all in the name of 'war' the thousands of innocent victims of juntas and military regimes ) Also, because it is a historic criminal case in Canada, the most extensive and costliest investigation ever carried out. And it all began because the police wouldn't pay attention to the pleas of families who were searching for missing women...not until sixty of them were gone off the face of the earth. So this case is memorable and from it perhaps some good will come and we will learn a tragic lesson.

THE 11 HOUR INTERROGATION: (more about the Pigtown trial. Jan 26/07)
There were a lot of details revealed today that were much too disturbing to report here. In the interrogation Pickton eventually came close to admitting his guilt. When asked how many women he had killed, he said "You're making me more of a mass killer than I am." When the interrogator told him that investigators has found a large amount of evidence, he said "I made my own grave now I'm gonna sleep in it."
"What about the families of the missing women?" the interrogator asked.
"That's not my problem," Pig Man replied. "Shit happens!"
The interrogator did bring up the possibility that others were involved, Pig Man's brother, a woman friend and the Hells Angels. This fits the rumours that have been going around since the beginning. It's going to be very interesting to see if anyone else is going to be incriminated.
I have to ask, "How do people like that sleep at night?"

Tonight on the TV news they did a sketch of one of the youngest victims, Andrea J. a pretty blonde woman who was only 26. Her doctors said how she was on the road to kicking her drug habit. They described her as 'child-like and hopeful.' They were certain she was going to make it and get off the street. Then she disappeared. Her remains were found on Pig Man's farm.

“YOU’RE A BIG MEDIA CELEBRITY!” Friday, Jan 26
Besides the more than 300 media people who are covering the Pig Farmer's trial, an on-line news service www.Orato.com has hired two former sex-trade workers to write their own impressions and to tell their own stories. These are women who worked the same streets downtown as the victims. So far the media has shown restraint in dealing with the grieving families and have written and broadcast respectful insights into the livesof the missing women. As you get to know more about them, hear their stories and the memoires of their families, it has put a real and tragic face on the victims.

As details of the trial come out, sex-trade workers are turning to each other for support and a drop-in centre downtown is offering them counselling and emotional support.

WHO IS THIS PIG MAN?
They say he sits slouced on a chair, displaying few emotions, yawning, sighing and looking at the floor when not egnaged. Family members of the women say they feel sick to their stomachs to hear him speak and watch hm in the courtroom. He has maintained his innocence in spite of damning statements made to the interrogator's, other statements made by a couple of his friends, and the girsly evidence they've found on his farm.

Teams of forensic specialists, anthropologists, entomologists and blood-splatter experts and the best police in the province have worked on the case for the last five years. When Piggy was told this he didn't seem impressed.
At one point in the interview he blubbers and cries and says "I'm sorry ...if I can take my life for any one of thes people..." Yet he steadfastly maintains his innocence even when shown the photos of his blood-splattered hom and gory stains on his bed.
"I'm tellin' you the honest truth," he says. "I don't know nothin' about this." He is incredulous when told he's in the papers, a media celebrity.
"You're a big media celebrity ...like Osama bin Laden! Everybody knows who you are," the interrogator tells him.
"Shit!" says the Pig Man.

"He harms himself who does harm to another, and the evil plan is most harmful to the planner."
Hesiod l 265

"I'M A BAD DUDE!"

"I'm a bad dude" is an understatement. This case truly is "the heart of darkness". These women, helpless, lost, drug addicted and desperate were lured to the pig farm and slaughtered.
We have to remember them. We see them every day walking the streets of the downtown east side. How did they get there? Where did they come from? Who are they? I know of people who knew them. I know of girls who might have become his victims. Being a woman, though more fortunate than they were, I know how vulnerable they were.

Two young women who I've known since birth, could have easily ended up on Piggy's farm. Both were seduced into drugs when still in their young teens and before they knew it were lost in that deadly maze of addiction. It was a long, desperate struggle, heartbreaking and sometimes hopeless, but their families would not give up hope. Finally, with help of support groups like Narcotics Anonymous and rehab, one of them has been 'clean' now for six years. The other, weaned off the methadone program, is with a partner and just had a baby. It can be done, but it's along, hard struggle. And the problem is, there aren't enough detox centres or rehab shelters for these women. There isn't even enough safe affordable housing for them to help them get off the street. So a man comes along (often a 'john') offers them drugs, money, who knows what else? And off they go with him...never to be seen alive again.
Remember these women. They might have been your sisters, mothers, daughters, friends...

More about Pigtown Jan 25/07
In court today, more of the video interrogation. Pickton said: "I should be on death row. I'm finished, finished. I'm dead."
More of the interviews with the pig farmer with the police interrogator. And it included a cryptic quote from a friend of his who said Pickton had told him
"A good way to kill prostitutes is with windshield wiper fluid."
The missing women, 26 of whom he is accused of killing, left collectively 100 children behind as well as grieving families and friends. Marnie Frey was murdered on her birthday. Serena A. was also killed around her birthday.
One of the girls was very young, very hopeful...None of them deserved to die this way.
If there's one thing that has been brought forward in the public eye it is the problems in the Downtown East Side. And yet nothing much is being done to improve the situation there, providing housing, safety on the streets, detox centres. The street women of the DTES are discriminated against. This is why 60 of them went missing before anything was done to find them. By then, for most, it was too late.
As one said tonight on the TV news:
"We all live, breath and want like everyone else." To me, that was the most poignant and powerful statement.

WHAT WENT ON AT PIGGY'S PALACE?

The gruesome details of what went on at the pig farm are starting to be revealed but what else when on there? What exactly was happening at the Piggy's Palace where these pig farmers entertained women and bikers and who-knows-who else? I doubt it was just a friendly neighbourhood get-together with roast pig and kegs of beer. At this point we can only speculate from the disturbing evidence that has been unearthed on the farm. Imaginations run rampant. Rumours sprout like poison mushrooms in manure. It's all beyond comprehension.
But now the trial has begun and the truth will be revealed, no matter how nasty it is.

MONDAY, Jan 22/07
THE TRIAL BEGINS
The trial of the infamous pig farmer starts today after a five year wait. He's on trial now for murder in the deaths of six of the 60 woman who have gone missing from this area since the late '70's. In addition to these six charges, there are another 20 which will be tried separately. He's been in prison the last five years while the pig farm which he operated along with his brother was scoured, literally no stone left unturned, for evidence. The 30 acre or so farmland was completely dug up and investigated by archaeologists specializing in bone fragments. Hundreds of DNA samples were collected. So far only the 26 have been identified. It may come out in the trial that there are many others.

Piggy and his brother ran a party house at the time called Piggy's Palace. It was frequented by bikers (Hells Angels etc)He frequented the downtown east side trolling for street women who were invited to the farm. At the time the case first broke (after years of the police ignoring how many women were going missing) the first thing they checked were the chippers. Get the drift? Remember the movie "Fargo"? Next were the rumours that they had been filming snuff films there. So you can imagine how horrendous the evidence is going to be. Counsellors have been set up in the courthouse to deal with the aftermath of the gruesome evidence that is going to be presented.

Meanwhile the city has been flooded by media from all around the world as this is going to be the most sensational trial in Canada's history. You can find daily updates and details on
www.cbc.ca
or at www.vancouversun.com

Counsellors have also been provided in the downtown area frequented by sex trade workers who might be approached by the media.
These women were mostly addicts and left behind families and children who grieve for them. Unfortunately, some of the family members have been subpoenaed to appear as witnesses and this has created a huge problem for those who have waited all this time for closure because they won't be allowed to attend the court sessions.
Hundreds of people have showed up outside the courtroom waiting to get in, swarming the grieving family members.

At one time I wanted to be a crime reporter, and when I worked for the Van. Sun after high school, one of the women reporters wanted to train me for her desk job. But the city editor wouldn't hear of an 18 year old preacher's daughter working on the crime reports. Instead I ended up being a news librarian in charge of the crime files. I guess that's why I'm always fascinated (though horrified) by these kinds of stories.

Some facts: They built a special courtroom for this trial. The public gallery is separated from the rest of the room by a bullet-proof glass. Pickton sits behind it. Yesterday there were a number of people (especially family members) who left the gallery when the gruesome evidence was given. They've been interviewing them about their thoughts/reactions, and also showing video clips of the various women who were victims. A couple of them left behind beautiful young daughters who have been raised by their grandmas. It's very sad to hear the families and friends talk about them. They were unfortunate women who fell into the sex trade because of drugs. This monster lured them to his farm with promises of a party and good times. He was taped by an undercover person in his cell, bragging about it, how he intended to make it a round 50 but messed up, so only managed to kill 49. There are so far 26 actualy charges, there were other remains found on the farm that matched the dna of a skull found elsewhere, so I think that charge was stayed. The evidence so far has been pretty graphic: severed heads, and body parts found in a freezer; bone fragments discovered at the farm as well as two other locations, on property owned by the pig farmer and his brother. One of the women's body parts were found in the pig sty. It is generally believed that he killed them, butchered them, and put them through the chipper, then ploughed the remains into the earth. The whole 30-odd acres of the farm have been searched, by police, forensic scientists, and archaeologists expert in identifying bones. It has been a five year investigation and the trial is expected to take at least a year.

WHO IS THIS GUY? AND WHO ARE THE WOMEN?

Looking back in my earliest diary, from 1947, when I was barely a teen ager, I had this fascination with crime involving murder cases. I recall when we first moved to the Coast when I was twelve, I was horrified to read about hangings that took place in a prison not far away. I made notation in my diary about a certain case where two young men had been hung for killing a policeman. "I feel very sad," I wrote. I remember the pall that used to fall over the city whenever an execution was to take place. Now we don't have capital punishment, and I don't agree with it because who knows how many innocent people were punished before we had DNA testing? But there are certain individuals that the tax-payers are paying to support who I wonder about...such as the notorious Clifford Olson who killed children and sits in prison mocking his victim's families. Why did he deserve to live?

WHO IS THIS GUY? Robert "Willie" Pickton (57)
He calls himself "The Pig Man". He bragged about how one day he killed 35 pigs and how good he was at the job.
He is now accused of killing 26 women who's remains have been found on his pig farm.

SOME BACKGROUND ABOUT THE CASE
By the Fall of 2001 there were 45 women officially listed as missing from the Downtown East Side of Vancouver. The investigation was hampered by police infighting, inexperience, under-resourcing and mistakes. By Feb. 2002, after a lot of public pressure and a shake-up in the police dept. the police raided the farm and laid the first of 26 charges.
Now, five years later and an extensive investigation that has/will cost millions, the day of reckoning has come. This crime trial has made news all over the world and 350 representatives of the world's press have descended on the city. Some of the details are so gruesome both TV and newspapers are posting warnings before revealing them so viewers/readers have a choice of watching/reading. Some of the media's websites are posting stories about how to deal with the disturbing elements of the story.
Due to the huge anticipated volume of people interested in attending the trial, the courthouse will have an overflow room. No bags or electronic devices are allowed in either courtroom (except for media who are allowed to record the testimonies). Everyone entering will pass through a metal detector and through two security screenings.
The second day of the trial (and today) the jury saw a videotape of Pickton being interrogated by police. He, of course, claims no knowledge of even knowing the missing women, in spite of evidence found right in the trailer where he lived!

WHO ARE THE FIRST SIX OF THE WOMEN HE IS CHARGED WITH MURDERING?
Sereena Abotsway (30)
Mona Wilson (26)
Andrea Joesbury (23)
Brenda Wolfe (30)
Marnie Frey (30?)
Georgina Papin.(37)

Each of them left behind caring families and friends. Why did they deserve to die?
As one of the grieving fathers said: "These are our sisters, our daughters, our mothers, all human beings -- all great people"
Note: There had been 60 women listed as missing, but several eventually surfaced. Pickton will be tried on the remaining 20 charges after the first trial is over which is expected to take up to a year.

THE TRIAL BEGINS

After five years of intensive investigation, the trial of the pig farmer has begun. The press has issued plenty of warnings about the content of the news and put up banners (on TV and in the newspapers) alerting people of the disturbing contents. A lot of people I've spoken to don't want to hear it. But in a way I think it's important to know the truth. More important, we must not forget the victims or their families. Counsellors have been provided at the court for the familes and viewers and in the downtown area for the sex-trade workers who will definitely be affected. Already there has been evidence described that is so horrifying I won't repeat it here. What interests me is the judicial system and how this is going to affect the jurors and families, because the reckon this trial is going to last a whole year! (And this is only the first six of 26 charges!)
MONDAY, Jan 22/07
THE PIG FARMER’S TRIAL BEGINS
The trial of the infamous pig farmer starts today after a five year wait. He's on trial now for murder in the deaths of six of the 60 woman who have gone missing from this area since the late '70's. In addition to these six charges, there are another 20 which will be tried separately. He's been in prison the last five years while the pig farm which he operated along with his brother was scoured, literally no stone left unturned, for evidence. The 30 acre or so farmland was completely dug up and investigated by archaeologists specializing in bone fragments. Hundreds of DNA samples were collected. So far only the 26 have been identified. It may come out in the trial that there are many others.

Piggy and his brother ran a party house at the time called Piggy's Palace. It was frequented by bikers (Hells Angels etc)He frequented the downtown east side trolling for street women who were invited to the farm. At the time the case first broke (after years of the police ignoring how many women were going missing) the first thing they checked were the chippers. Get the drift? Remember the movie "Fargo"? Next were the rumours that they had been filming snuff films there. So you can imagine how horrendous the evidence is going to be. Counsellors have been set up in the courthouse to deal with the aftermath of the gruesome evidence that is going to be presented.

Meanwhile the city has been flooded by media from all around the world as this is going to be the most sensational trial in Canada's history. You can find daily updates and details on
www.cbc.ca or at www.vancouversun.com
Counsellors have also been provided in the downtown area frequented by sex trade workers who might be approached by the media.
These women were mostly addicts and left behind families and children who grieve for them. Unfortunately, some of the family members have been subpoenaed to appear as witnesses and this has created a huge problem for those who have waited all this time for closure because they won't be allowed to attend the court sessions.

On the news just now, hundreds of people outside the courtroom waiting to get in and swarming the family members.
At one time I wanted to be a crime reporter, and when I worked for the Van. Sun after high school, one of the women reporters wanted to train me for her desk job. But the city editor wouldn't hear of an 18 year old preacher's daughter working on the crime reports. Instead I ended up being a news librarian in charge of the crime files. I guess that's why I'm always fascinated (though horrified) by these kinds of stories.

MONDAY, Jan 22
10.30 pm
Well they said it would be shocking and it was. And this was just the preliminary hearing of a trial that is expected to take up to a year. There is major TV coverage which includes interviews with the victim's families (two left behind beautiful young daughters). Quite a crowd showed up for the first day.
What was revealed was pretty gruesome: severed heads and body parts found in a freezer; bone fragments and pieces of limbs found in the field; personal belongings of the victims. And yet the guy of course pleads 'not guilty'.
It's almost surreal. like watching parts of a CSI segment or something. But it's real. And it happened right here near our beautiful city.

WHAT HAPPENED AT THE PIG FARM?

Back in 2000 an alarming number of women were going missing from the Downtown East Side of my city. Nothing much was being done to locate them in spite of requests by anxious relatives and friends. By 2001 there were a total of 60 women on the list. All of them were sex-trade workers with addiction problems. All of them had left behind families, children and friends who worried over their fate. It wasn't until 2002 that an investigation began at a pig farm on the outskirts of town where two brothers were known to have a place called "Piggy Palace" where they often entertained the likes of Hells Angels and other folk, including a lot of women who came from the Downtown area. Finally, armed with a search warrent, and looking for fire arms, the police descended on the farm. Much to their horror, they found more than firearms. They found the remains of a number of women. And so the five year long investigation began.

When I first began working in a newspaper editorial office after highschool, I wanted to be a crime reporter and investigative journalist. Instead I ended up in the news library in charge of the crime and bio files. Now I'm a travel journalist and historical fiction writer, but my interest in the judicial system and the criminal mind still draws me to cases like this, gruesome as they are, so horrifying you can't imagine how a human being could behave in such a dispicable way.

I started making notes about this case on my other on-line journal back in 2002 and decided to post them here along with updates as the trial has now began for the man who calls hims "The Pig Man", Robert "Willie" Pickton. He is charged with 26 counts of murder, six of which are being tried now and the rest later.

FRIDAY MIDNIGHT, Oct 4/02
It seems the brothers who owned the Pig Farm have been selling topsoil.
Of course the farm is now under a massive investigation, every inch of soil there being inspected for possible bone fragments of the missing women.
Now it is reported that soil from this very killing fields has been sold around the Lower Mainland to unsuspecting people for use in landscaping.
Tonight on the news it was reported that the police are concentrating an investigation at a local Indian Reserve where apparantly a load of this soil had been delivered. How ironic that a large number of the missing women happened to be aboriginal women.
The Chief of that particular reserve now has to make a decision to have the areas dug up and searched by one of the investigative teams. This, of course, may be a long procedure and will involve having a large area of ground being dug up. Quite a dilemma.
But how creepy it is, to know that the soil in your gardens or lawns that you bought from said Pig Farm may contain the remains of missing women. And as the Chief said, they owe it to the families who are still waiting to hear if the remains of their loved ones are recovered so they can get some closure.
This is shaping up to be one of the most hideous murder cases in Canadian history. What next? everyone is asking.
And now Mr. Piggy's lawyer is threatening to quit because he says they need a team of at least six lawyer to deal with the case. Piggy claims to be broke. And they want the government to chip in for the legal costs. What next is right!
More as the case unfolds. Incredible, isn't it?

THURSDAY, March 11/04
After seeing "Monster" last night, I'm still thinking about it. An excellent movie. Intense and compelling and such a story! The script was excellent, not overly graphic, but showing how this abused woman became such a 'monster' so you could have some compassion for her and for a couple of her hapless victims.
Meanwhile more horrifying events are unfolding right here in my city in relation to the infamous "Pig Farm" and disappearance of over 60 Downtown East Side street women. There have been over 15 charges laid so far in the case. The culprit is the Pig Farmer, a sleezy red-haired creep named "Willie".
For anyone not up on this story, which is likely the worst case of serial
killing in Canadian history: They've been investigating over a year now with a team of archaeologists sifting through soils from the farm. It became clear early on (from the first week or two) that there was a sinister, evil thing happening out there when the police started checking the equipment such as the meat grinder and chipper, then investigating meat-packing plants where he might have sold his pork.
So now it is headlines that they are warning anyone who got meat off this farm for the last couple of years (it wasn't commercially sold, but given to friends, associates etc) that the meat might be contaminated by human flesh. Meaning?..you guessed it...how he disposed of the bodies. This is possible one of the grossest cases ever to surface in some time. And there will undoubted be more to come as the rumours are rampant about
'snuff killings' and implications that biker gangs were often 'entertained' on his property.
The investigation has brought a lot more focus on the precarious life of hookers. In another recent case some supposedly 'ordinary' Joe with a wife and kid got arrested for a long series of serious assaults on street workers and in the investigation they found videos of him involved in sexual activity with young girls in Asian countries. And this guy was supposed to be an accredited member of one of those international aid programs who help needy kids in foreign countries.
As in the case of some of Aileen's
victims in "Monster" you cannot feel sympathy for some of the men she attacked as she had been horribly abused since her childhood. Such a tragic story with tragic consequences. Just like the hideous events at the Pig Farm.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY!

Baby Alexandrea on her first birthday.

JANUARY 4, 2007

Today is my beautiful daughter's birthday. I wish she was here so I could give her a big hug. But wherever she is, I hope she celebrates and has a great day.



Here's a photo of her at her very first birthday. She loved it when we sang "Happy Birthday" to her. After that every time I went to the piano she would say "Hap Bungdee". At first we didn't know what she meant, til it dawned on me, she wanted me to play and sing "Happy Birthday!"

So, Hap Bungdee, Baby. Enjoy your day and I wish you happiness and good health for the coming new year. You are my treasure. I love you! MOM

ENDING THE YEAR 2006

Baby Alex, New Year's Eve '64

SATURDAY, Dec 30/06

Here it is, almost New Years Eve, the end of another year. For me, it was a year of adventure and travel which have provided me with many wonderful memories. I'm still relishing the memories of Chile, spending time with Cecilia and Mommy in Santiago, wishing I was still there or at least had stayed a longer time. Yesterday I got the slides and they nearly all turned out, so reviewing them took me back there, walking the Barrios with Patrick, visiting the Poet's houses, riding through the Andes by bus. I can hardly wait now to get the print photos!



This week I started writing again, finishing up more work on "Shadow of the Lion", which is my #1 priority for the New Year. I got so far behind in my writing schedule what with moving, house guests and travel, so now I must get caught up. And oh! the need for exercise and diet!

So, aside from the usual 'resolutions', these are simpley MUST DO's. It's all a matter of health and well-being.



My last two days of 2006 will be spend relaxing and hopefully visiting with friends (will the girls really come to collect those Christmas gifts their mother sent from Chile?). The New Years Eve gala at the Cottage (where Steve's band is playing) has narrowed down to maybe just Cher and myself, unless the Havana Buddy recovers from his toothache. Other friends from the States can't come now as Cor. is sick. But Cher and I are bound to have fun anyway!



So, spending the day in reflection and nostalgia, and looking ahead to 2007 -- more travel? (Yes, Venice and Greece in May); lots of writing? (Yes, I must finish the novel!) and all the other good things that come with having a lot of wonderful friends and a loving family.



HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

CHRISTMAS SURPRISES!

SATURDAY, DEC. 23/06

Yesterday I had the best Christmas 'gift' of all: a surprise visit from my daughter and grandson. We hadn't expected to see either of them as whenever Mike flies up from California to visit his mom, he goes straight to the Interior. But his flight had been cancelled so he had to come in via Vancouver and my daughter drove down to meet him. So we all had an impromptu lunch together at my son's apartment. And though the visit was short, it was certainly sweet and meant a lot to all of us to be together for a rare family reunion.

My grandson Mike is 21 now, and a fine young man with aspirations to study abroad and a taste for travel adventures like his "Nanny". I hope he follows his dreams to see the world.

And to help convince him that studying in Australia would be a fine idea, I gave him a very nice book about Australia for a Christmas gift. I hope he enjoys it.

Here's a picture of Mike the first Christmas I got to meet him when I flew home from Greece when he was not quite 10 months old. He's a tall handsome young man now, as tall as my son.

But it's still so nice to hear him call me "Nanny"!

IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS!

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas around my place. I've finished the decorating and wrapped the gifts which are all on the window seat under the little gold tree. My place looks very festive. I even decorated the plants with lights and baubles.

This is a photo of my and my little sister Jeannie, taken in Lloydminster Sask. when I was about five years old. I like the snow. We always had so much fun as children playing in it. When we lived in Saskachewan there was lots of snow every winter. I learned to skate when I was five and once I slipped on an ice patch and broke my elbow. We used to make snow forts and snowmen.

Where I live now is mostly rain, although while I was away in Chile they had a huge snowfall here. It caused a lot of havoc for pedestrians and cars and the weight of the snowfall caused trees to break which made quite a mess out of people's houses and cars. The snow was gone by the time I got home, but it would be rather nice to have a little for Christmas. However, the weatherman is forcasting mostly strong winds and more rain. I'm dreaming of a White Christmas.....

THE PEREGRINATIO (PILGRIMAGE)

I am told that the Latin word for a journey is "peregrinatio" (pilgrimage) and yes, this trip I'm about to embark in is very much a 'pilgrimage'. A sentimental journey, for sure. First, it's a trip to the beloved homelands of two of my dearest friends: Anibal's Chile and Roberto's Argentina. Secondly, it's a pilgrimage to the homes of the Poet, Pablo Neruda, whose writing I so admire (thanks to Anibal who introduced me to Neruda ) Neruda won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1971. He died in Santiago Chile twelve days after the murder of President Salvador Allende, 1973.

I learned all about Chile, in particular those difficult times of the junta when Anibal was forced to flee. I also learned about Argentina from my soul-brother Roberto, who was also forced to flee his homeland during the junta there in 1978.

And so now, in their memory, I journey south to the land of the towering Andes. What a thrill and more so, what a privilege. How fortunate I am, that through my friendship with Anibal I also became a friend of his daughters (who live here) and his wife who I will visit in Chile.

I expect there will be a number of emotional moments during this journey. I have bought a little white candle embedded with tiny shells to light for him. I hope that Cecilia will take me to all the places he told me about, show me Anibal's Santiago, where he always longed to be.

I won't have time to get to Buenos Aires on this trip, but we plan to cross the border to Mendoza at the foothills of the Andes, in Argentina's wine country. And because Roberto was such a lover of fine wine, I will certainly be tipping a glass or two or three in his memory.

"Farewell, but you will be
with me, you will go within
a drop of blood circulating in my veins
or outside, a kiss that burns my face
or a belt of fire at my waist.
My sweet, accept
the great love that came out of my life
and that in you found no territory
like the explorer lost
in the isles of bread and honey.
I found you after
the storm, the rain washed the air
and in the water
your sweet feet gleamed like fishes."

from "LETTER ON THE ROAD" by Pablo Neruda

SCATTERED PETALS

"After loving you so much,
can I forget you for eternity,
and have no other choice?"
Robert Traill Spence Lowell 1917-1977 (Obit 1973)

Remembering Anibal...

This week, one year ago, was his final struggle and each day I am remembering the details of that difficult time. While I wrote the blog on Nostalgia, he was very much on my mind, and that bolero tune we sometimes danced to kept going around in my head. Then while I was writing my travel blog about Chile the other day, something else happened that made me know his spirit is very close by...

On my dresser below the window I have a miniature ceramic bench that Cecilia, his wife, gave me which he kept in his bedroom. Beside it is his picture and the poem he wrote while he was in the hospital "I am not going to die..." Next to that is a slender glass vase containing a dried red rose he gave me one night at the Latin Quarter.

As I was sitting at the computer reading through my Chile blog ("A Sentimental Journey") the other day, suddenly there was a whooshing sound. A breeze had blown up through the slightly opened window above and two of the petals from the dried rose blew down and settled on the ceramic bench. In that instant I knew it was a 'message' of sorts from him.

Perhaps it was imagination, just the wind through the window ... Still, I could feel his presence, as if he was trying to speak to me.

This will be a week of deep nostalgia, remembering...I can still envision those scenes in his bedroom...so tragic...etched forever in my memory.

I'll phone the girls this week. I know they'll be thinking of their Dad. Iva says he often visits her too. I'll tell her about the scattered petals. She'll understand.

THE NIGHT VISITORS

WEDNESDAY, Oct 18/06

Last night, just as I was ready to sleep, two night visitors came. I had come home from my class and relaxed awhile watching the news and funny John Stewart's Daily Show, treated myself to a couple of cups of hot chocolate laced with some brandy. In this relaxed state of mind I went to bed, tired from my busy day and evening of instructing a novel writing class.

Just as I dozed off (I don't think I was really asleep, but on the brink), something - was it a presence? - startled me and I opened my eyes. I clearly saw two women standing by my bed. It scared me for a minute and I cried out, then blinked my eyes a few times but of course the vision disappeared. I couldn't get back to sleep. I felt scared at first, then settled a little when I thought of who those two women might be. I'd been thinking a lot about my Mom lately, and also on the weekend my friend Paula and I had been talking about her Mom who was one of my best friends who passed away several years ago. I wondered, seriously, if the two women who had visited me in the night might have been them. I know I'd been thinking how my Mom would have loved this apartment and been so pleased to see me living here. Mom and Doreen were friends too, so perhaps they came together, their spirits, to check in on me. I'd like to think so. And after I had that thought firmly in my head I was able to sleep again, in fact I slept soundly enough that I didn't wake up til late this morning!

When I was a teenager I had a similar experience one night, except the night visitors were two men: One was thin and tall, wearing an overcoat and fedora hat, the other smaller and Chinese. The stood by my bed and just smiled at me. I was scared stiff and never forgot the incident. A number of years later, when I was living with some other people in a house after I'd split with my husband, a girl came to stay with us who later became one of my best friends, Susan. One night we were talking about strange dreams and other psychic phenomena and she related a story of her night visitors. It was almost exactly the same two men who had appeared at my bedside. Who where they? Guardian angels? We've often discussed this and wondered. It was so real it seemed for sure they were there, those night spirits. But why had they come?

This weekend when my friend Cor was visiting with her little doggie Napoleon, the dog kept frisking about yapping at something unseen. She teased that there was a ghost around in the apartment and that her dog could sense it. I wonder...At first we considered it may have been the spirit of the deceased man who used to live here. Now I wonder if it was really the spirit of my Mom!

MORE ABOUT THE NEIGHBOURHOOD

TUESDAY, October 3/06
As the days go by I remember more and more about this neighbourhood. We first came to Vancouver in 1947 and I enrolled in Templeton Junior High (at that time it was just grades 7 - 9 although now it goes to senior levels and nodays, unlike then, there is an excellent creative and drama program at the school.) That school terrified me, a shy little small-town girl from Ontario and the Prairies. It was then the largest school in the West, a rambling grey stucco building that to me was like a prison. I had to walk quite a distance to get there every morning as we lived outside of the area. It was early October when I started going there and the class had already started to study French which may as well have been Martian to me. I never did catch up and was totally daunted by everything, especially Math and Science. Even back then I dreamed only of becoming a writer and my parents were often called to the principal's office and scolded about my lack of interest in subjects that would have got me A's instead of C's.

At that time, before the clean-air policies that we have now, a lot of people burned sawdust, wood and coal to heat their houses and living on the Coast there were dense pea-soup fogs.
Some mornings, walking to school, the fog was so thick you couldn't read the street signs, so more often than not I'd miss the crossing and therefore be late for school. I was always getting caught by the monitors who were stationed at a table near the entrance and I'd get ticketed (detentions) for being late. Besides that, I have always been slightly dislexic when it comes to numbers and I could never remember the combination lock numbers on my locker so again, I'd be late for class. I wasn't a worldly city kid then. My class mates mostly intimidated me. There were a lot of rough kids at that school and every day there were fights in the school yard, taunts, bullying. I was often bullied myself because I was the Preacher's Kid, rather timid, and not as stylish as my peers. (My mom was an expert seamstress and made most of my clothes. And being a pastor Dad didn't earn much income so my parents couldn't afford to buy me tailor-made skirts and cashmere sweaters. Looking back though, I was pretty well dressed thanks to Mom who was very stylish herself.)

A few years ago I went back to that school for a reunion and felt the same oppressive feelings I recall having as a kid. Funny how those memories linger. I have much better memories of my high school, Britannia, which is near the Drive.

Another thing I remember, walking down Nanaimo Street...There used to be a street-car running down there and at the corner of Kitchener St. where I'd turn down to walk to school, there was always this funny Downs Syndrome guy who lived nearby with his elderly mother.
He had a conductor's cap and a ticket punch and the street-car conductors used to let him ride up and down the line punching passenger's tickets. Sometimes he'd stand in the road and direct traffic. Nowdays he'd be run over! Later they removed the street-cars and eventually along East Hastings became the route of the fabled Number 14 bus which has been made famous with a play by the same name.

Not too far away is the Pacific National Exhibition grounds where they hold an exhibition every year. It was mainly Playland back then, where we'd hang out to go ice skating or roller skating. And there was an excellent ride called the Shoot the Shute, a boat-like cart that was towed up to the top of a runway and then flew down spalshing into a water-filled tub at the bottom. That was my favorite ride other than the merry-go-round which has now been restored and resides at the Burnaby Heritage Park. (And yes, you can still ride it for a loonie! (that's a Can. dollar!)
My friends and I loved it when the P.N.E. was on and we especially liked sneaking into the side shows. By the time we were about 16 I think we'd got over the Italian phase and were into American sailors. I have a couple of photos of myself taken at the P.N.E. with some sailor I'd met (attracted mainly by the uniform!). I'm sure our mothers were at home wringing their hands and turning prematurely grey wondering what their girls were up to!

Later, I heard some of the old famous jazz musicians play there at the Gardens and sometimes we'd attend dances there. By the late 50's and 60's there were concerts by musicians like "Little Richard" and "Fats Domino" and once I even went to see Frank Sinatra in concert. Then, by the 70's when I'd returned to Vancouver from Alberta and was single again, there were all the great Blues and Rock shows including Elton John, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin. We went to all of them!

My more recent memories of this area, besides the four years I worked as head supervisor of the St. David's Preschool in the 70's, when I was a single mom trying to support two young teens, was the year I arrived back home after living in Greece in 1987. I had come home under duress -- partly due to family committments and partly because after five years there I was 'Greeked out' in particular because I'd had a very sad, wrenching breakpup with my Greek boyfriend. I was only back a month, on a one-way ticket, before I realized I had made a mistake. I moved into an apartment just down the hill from where I am now and tried to sort out my shattered life. Eventually I got a job in Chinatown as an E.S.L. teacher for an all Chinese daycare. This turned into a very interesting, though not very profitable situation and a year later I quit and went back to Greece again for six months.

One nice memories of living on Cambridge St. at that time was riding my bike to work every day. I recalled that this weekend when I took my bike out for a spin along the same route. I also recalled, in passing by a deserted old moving/storage building, that for a brief period when I was expecting my first child, I worked there as a file clerk. It's right down by the docks and I recall being nauseated by the smells so my Mom picked me up every day and drove me home for lunch as the only thing I could stomach was poached eggs on toast.

It's been interesting exploring this old neighbourhood. I'm feeling quite at home here and every day a new memory emerges, nearly all of them pleasant. It's nice to be back!

EXPLORING MY NEW NEIGHBOURHOOD

SATURDAY, SEPT. 30/06

Well, it's not really a 'new' neighbourhood I'm living in as this part of town was once my teen-age stomping grounds. But it's 'new' for me now, living on the north side of Hastings Street in a beautiful bright, clean, quiet apartment. I'm having an enjoyable time 'exploring' the 'hood and reminiscing as I take trips down memory lane.

When we were teens we hung out on The Drag, which is what we called East Hastings Street. (It isn't too far from The Drive, which is the area I just moved from). At that time, there were lots of Italian immigrants who had moved here after the war and settled in this neighbourhood, opening shops and planting beautiful gardens in their back yards. There would be knots of handsome dark-haired boys on the corners and my girlfriends and I were totally entranced.

There was a coffee shop on Hastings called "The Jolly Joan". It's still there but now it's called "The Master Chef". It used to be owned by the mother of one of my friends. It's small, and there were booths on the side and a big juke box. All the kids gathered there to drink cokes and eat burgers and listen to the current hit tunes on the juke box. My girlfriend R. and I were both short-sighted and heaven forbid being seen wearing glasses. So we'd stand outside the window and both of us would squint -- I could see if I pulled the corners of my eyes and she'd peer through the small space made by her closed fist, and we'd figure out where everyone was sitting before we went in. That was the cafe where I met my first love, Jimmy, the young man I later wrote my play "The Street" about. He used to drive an old grey Chev and we kids would pile into it and drive around.

There are still some of the same shops on the street that existed back then including some Italian delis and one particular barber shop that used to be called "Nick's". I have to laugh every time I pass there. Nick was this smooth sauve Italian with Brill-creme slicked black hair. He used to stand in front of his shop and make passes at us girls, sometimes getting pretty fresh with us. These days it would be called 'sexual harassment'. One October day (it must have been around Hallowe'en) we'd pretty well got fed up with his advances so we decided to take revenge. In those days we wore long navy-blue overcoats. We set out with bars of Ivory Soap and wrote all over the barber shop windows "This guy ought to be D-peed" and other stuff. Then we went back to the Jolly Joan and were sitting in a booth drinking coke when a police officer came in. (I think in those days there were beat cops). He asked us why we had 'done it' and ordered us to go with him to clean off the graffiti. We played innocent, pretended we didn't have a clue what he was talking about.

"You wrote on the windows with soap!" he said. We denied it. Then, looking down we saw that the fronts of our navy-blue coats were covered with white soap flakes! The cafe owner stepped in then and defended our actions. She told the cop about the harassment we'd had from the barber and that he deserved to be 'punished' for what he'd been doing to us girls. In the end, the cop didn't make us go and wash the windows off. And the next morning when I was riding the bus to work, when the bus stopped at the light right in front of the barber shop I saw Nick out there with a pail and rag washing the graffiti off the windows. He never bothered us again!

There used to be a movie theatre on the corner where we'd go on weekends. I had my first 'date' there when I was in Junior High. During the movie the boy held my hand and kissed me. I was so embarassed I wouldn't go to school the next day as I didn't want to face him in class!
There was also a bowling alley across the street where my girlfriend met her future husband who worked there as a pin-boy.

My first job directing a pre-school was in this neighbourhood back in the early '70's. I spent four pleasant years as head supervisor of the St. David's Preschool which still exists. I left there because I was going on a trip to Europe -- the one that would take me to Turkey to be with my beautiful love, Hakki. I had met him while I worked at that preschool when he was here on a ship. I enjoyed that pre-school and have a lot of happy memories of times there. When I left the parents cried and presented me with a gold locket. Inside the locket I put some violets that Hakki gave me when I was in Istanbul. I still have it, and all those wonderful memories.

So every day when I go out browsing around my new 'hood, I am reminded of the past, and the good times my friends and I had. I think I'll start going to the water-fit over at the junior high which I attended when I first moved here from Ontario. I never cared for that school which was overwhelming and very prison-like to me, a small-town girl. And they didn't have the swimming pool back then. But now it's conveniently near at hand so I think I'll start going there instead of the other pool on the Drive.

I'm still close to the Drive though, and as that's where my social life is centered, it's nice to know I can walk over there or have a choice of buses to take. And the taxi fare isn't too expensive for those nights that I stay out too late to bus it home.

Yes, I'm very happy to be back here in this neighbouhood. My life once again has come full-circle and I hope I can stay here for a long, long time.

WHERE WERE YOU ON 9/11?

SEPTEMBER 11, 2006

Five years ago our world changed forever. Where were you on September 11, 2001?
I remember being woken up very early by my friend who said "Turn on the TV. Something terrible is happening in New York!" I tuned in just after the first plane had hit the tower and watched in horror the events unfold. It seemed unreal, like I was watching a disaster movie, not something that was actually happening. Later when I got the bus to work everyone seemed frozen in shock. Nobody was talking. It was all too unbelievable. All through the day, whenever we could at the daycare we checked to see what else was unfolding. Not only the two planes that hit the World Trade Centre towers, but one had dive-bombed into the Pentagon and another was taken down in a field killing all on board in spite of the valiant attempts by passengers to stop the terrorists. For days the pictures played and replayed and those images are now indelible in everyone's mind. I especially remember (still with horror) the couple, hand-in-hand plunging head first down from the top floors, the people waving white flags, the sight of those tall buildings crumbling like sand castles. Unbelievable!

That night I saw my friend Anibal. He too was stunned. But he also told me that it was a particular shock to him because on exactly that date in 1973 he recalled walking to work and seeing the war planes bomb the communications towers in Santiago Chile. They also bombed the Presidential Palace, killing Salvadore Allende, the socialist president who had been elected in a democratic vote by the people. Those planes were CIA/US sponsored war planes and Santiago was under seige by the military. As a result of the coup thousands of Chileans were raped, tortured, and murdered. My friend Anibal was on Pinochet's 'hit-list' and somehow managed to escape with his family to Argentina. I didn't know about 9/11 in Chile until that day and from then on I read all I could, watched videos, and got educated about what the U.S. role was in that military coup that resulted in so many deaths, family tragedies, and people like Anibal having to be exiled for years from the country they loved.

I grew up during the second World War as well, when thousands of people were killed every day and watched, horrified, the mushroom cloud rising over Hiroshima the day the Americans dropped the atom bomb.

War is a terrible thing. And this is the new 'war' -- terrorism. Those events that happened on September 11, 2001 have changed our world forever and changed the lives of those people who live in New York City.

I just experienced my third visit to that fabulous city. I noticed the change, not only in the security, the safeness, the cleanness of the City, but in the people. They seem quieter, kinder, more patient. I felt safe and happy there and felt it was a privilege to visit once again.
I had thought to go to Ground Zero, but decided not to because the City was filling up with others who had come specifically for the commemoration services and we knew that it would be very crowded at the site, and best left to those who had come to mourn loved ones or to pay their respects to those who died trying to save lives. Instead, we went on the round Manhattan boat cruise, and viewed Ground Zero from the River -- that huge gap between the skyscrapers.
When I first came to New York in 1968 they were just starting to build the World Trade Centre towers. I remember asking what the construction was. The next time I visited, the towers were there, rising like two massive glass sentinals overlooking the City. Now they are gone and that day will stay indelible in our minds. Those who died there will never be forgotten.
And we who live will carry on, try some way to find Peace in our World. Whatever happens, we must not let these evil terrorists defeat us or take away our freedom.

ON THE MOVE!

MONDAY, August 18/06

On Friday evening I got a peek at my new apartment. I met with my 'landlords', Jeni and Joe, for my very first viewing. (Til then I'd only seen Joe's apt. on the 3rd floor of the condo building.) Jeni brought along a bottle of champagne to celebrate the handing over of the keys!

My new home is on the fourth floor, S.W. corner with a balcony view overlooking pleasant neighbourhood gardens, west view of the city skyline and north view of the mountains. I can just visualize me sitting out there doing all my writing and perhaps painting too. The apartment is full of light, enhanced by skylights in the kitchen and bathroom. Everything is newly painted in a shell white with off-white carpeting. There's a built-in window seat by the bay window and in the bedroom, a built in dresser (all white, which will match my other bedroom furniture). My Moroccon-colored saffron and blue wicker pieces and my wicker couch with the burgundy Turkish patterened cushions are going to look splendid in the living room!

The kitchen is far more spacious than the one I have and has the window opening to pass through to the dining area or use as a counter with bar-stools. There are all the appliances, including dish-washer, microwave, and in the laundry room a washer-dryer. What luxury!
There's lots of shelf and cupboard and storage space too. I won't have junk crowded all around me like I've had in this old place that didn't even have a basement storage. I even have my own parking space in the secure underground parking (where I'll leave my bike as I have no car!).

I won't officially move til Sept 17 because of this up-and-coming trip to New York. But I am already starting to take a few small boxes over there and as soon as my friends with cars are available I'll start moving stuff by the car-load.

Tomorrow is the arbitration meeting regarding these current landlords, the Dragon Lady and the Pussy Cat, and I'm not looking forward to it except to make sure their dishonesty is made known to the arbitrator. And also to make sure they don't pull off any funny business and try to cheat me out of money like they did with my friend Sofie.

I know the new place will be much more condusive to creativity, with far less disruptions, no daily visits from the cops because of problems caused by the people in the apartment block across the street, no obnoxious neighbours and mostly reliable and kind landlords who are friends of mine. Everyone is so happy that I have found a comfortable and beautiful place to live. (No more cockroaches, mice and stinky hallways!) I know I'm going to be very happy there!